No sex please, we can get that on tv

THAT over-used cliché — ‘sex sells’ — looks to have passed its sell-by date, at least as far as the movies are concerned.

With consumer research indicating that audiences are increasingly turned off by steamy sex scenes, many of the major Hollywood film studios are calling time on celluloid permissiveness.

Industry observers point out that 1997’s Titanic was the last occasion when major stars the calibre of Kate Winslett and Leonardo DiCaprio steamed up the windows of a Model T Ford, further proof that the modern cinemagoer no longer wants a 10-minute interlude of hanky-panky as part of a night’s entertainment.

With studios now concentrating on making films more family-friendly and jam-packed with computer generated special effects, the era of tangled sheets and twanging bed springs seems finally at an end. A sex scene will also usually result in the film receiving an 18 rating — thus alienating the vital teen audience.

Technology is partly to blame for this cinema sea change. With the World Wide Web available on phones, tablets, and PCs on a 24/7 basis, people can now access sex in all its myriad varieties at the click of a mouse — and without the cost of an admission ticket. The other culprit killing sex in cinema is television, where shows like Love/Hate, Homeland, and Girls regularly feature a variety of steamy encounters — direct to the comfort and privacy of viewers’ living rooms. In short, if it’s an illicit thrill you’re after, better reach for the remote rather than going to the local Cineplex.

If you’re over 30, chances are you’ll instantly remember your first cinema sex scene — and just how good, or bad, an experience it was. For some of us, it all began with Last Tango In Paris, and Marlon Brando doing a ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’ impersonation. Or it might have been a dimpled Tom Cruise wooing hooker-with-the-heart-of-gold Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business. And how many couples share a private smile when reminded of Ghost, where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore’s antics at the kiln sent membership of pottery classes through the roof.

Six of the best sex scenes

1.Out Of Sight (1998)

The ultimate ‘cute meet’ where bank robber George Clooney and federal agent Jennifer Lopez are thrust together in the confines of a car boot. The chemistry brims throughout a film that both men and women were thrilled by.

2.Coming Home (1978)

Controversial for its time, Jane Fonda played an uptight military wife whose dormant passion is unleashed by paraplegic war veteran Jon Voight. Director Hal Ashby handled the disabled sex scenes so well, it went on to win an Oscar.

3.Don’t Look Now(1973)

Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie’s steamy romp appeared so real that countless column inches were devoted to whether they might actually have gone all the way, uncaring of the camera. Director Nicolas Roeg set the template that would be copied for the next 20 years.

4.Brokeback Mountain(2005)

Cowboys sure have changed a lot from John Wayne’s day. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as lonesome cattle drovers sharing a mountain tent delivered performances so searing and sensual many industry insiders secretly voted them Oscar contenders.

5.The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981)

Impossible not to have Jack Nicholson on a best sex list, and his romp with Jessica Lange on a floury kitchen table had many a household eyeing the baking soda with a devilish gleam. Another movie where rumours persisted that the pair were not acting.

6.Unfaithful(2002)

A movie where Richard Gere, the sexy hero of pretty woman and American gigolo, is the cuckold upturned all standards. Diane Lane is the bored housewife who gets serious afternoon French lessons from Olivier Martinez. One sex scene in a café while her unaware girlfriends wait outside is a classic.

And six of the worst

1. Showgirls 1995

Elizabeth Berkley gets down to the quare thing with Kyle MacLachlan in a Las Vegas swimming pool, complete with spasms and writhing on an Olympic scale. Laughably ludicrous was the common reaction.

2. Damage 1992

Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche go from torrid to terrible in this adaptation of Josephine Hart’s novel where a British MP gets involved with his son’s fiancee.

3. Munich 2005

Steven Spielberg’s intense take on Israel’s revenge for the infamous Munich Olympics massacre was spoiled by one scene where Eric Bana makes love with his wife — to a mental film clip showing athletes being murdered. Weird.

4. Moonraker 1979

Roger Moore as 007 had quite a few sexual mishaps, but none more laughable than a romp with Lois Chiles in outer space. “My God, what is Bond doing?!” asks M. “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir,” comes the straight-faced reply.

5. Ghost 1990

It brought a whole new meaning to ‘potter’s cramp’ as Patrick and Demi got right mucky.

6. 9½ Weeks, 1986

Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger play with cucumbers and pickles? ’Nuff said.