Roisin Meaney: Queen of romance dreams of her own happy ending
I am still open to the idea of meeting someone; even if he has a ready-made family. I wouldn’t rule that out
ROISIN MEANEY spends her days writing about relationships. Her insightful novels have won her comparisons with the queen of them all, the late Maeve Binchy. Yet; though she dreams up happy endings for her characters, her own romances have been far from smooth.
“All my life I’ve been waiting to meet Mr Right,” says the 53-year-old. “To meet that someone who I’d instinctively know was the one person I was supposed to be with. And that never happened. Or if I felt it, he didn’t. I never matched with someone.
“When, one by one friends married and had babies, I felt hard done by. I remember thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ I got low about it, wondering why I wasn’t settling down. Maybe I was looking for something that was unachievable. I don’t know.”
It’s not for the want of trying. At 21, teaching in Dublin, Roisin went on a blind date. It was a disaster. “We ran out of conversation after half an hour. We struggled on for another hour, but he didn’t offer to see me home. And I was glad of it.
“I fell in love with a Scotsman at 23. We met in Africa, and were an item for two years. He proposed, casually, and I accepted. But as time went on, I realised he was too possessive. I was talking to a guy at a party, and got the third degree when we got home. It was innocent, just a chat, but he thought I’d run off with him He was so insecure. I realised I couldn’t live with that.”
Roisin has often found romance on holiday. The first time, in her late twenties, it was a lifeguard in Bulgaria. “He was dead sexy and he followed me back to London, where I was living. The minute he arrived, wearing a shell suit, I knew I’d made a huge mistake. It took two weeks to persuade him to go home.
“The second time, I was 35. He was American, and spending a summer in Dublin. He was gorgeous, and was the only man, ever, to buy me flowers. My friends swooned over him, and assumed I’d want to continue the relationship when he went home. But I knew, lovely as he was, he was not forever.
“The next holiday romance happened in Spain, where I was planting trees for a week. I was around 40; he closer to 50. He was from Guernsey; unattached and gorgeous.
“We had a tiny fling towards the end of the week, but I knew he wasn’t really interested in me. We emailed for a while, then he let me down, gently.
“Two years ago, I looked him up in Guernsey. He was still unattached and gorgeous, and still not interested. He’s the one who got away.”
Roisin’s fourth holiday romance, has to be the most disastrous of all.
“I was back in Spain, in my mid 40s, and I booked into a writers’ and artists’ retreat for a month. He was a Spanish artist and had booked in too. He was drop dead fabulous. And after a week I was well and truly smitten. We went to the beach in a group one day, and in the sea, he told me he was gay. I had NO idea, and was devastated.”
Over the years, Roisin has tried it all. She was in her mid-30s when she had a go at internet dating.
“He didn’t look remotely like his photo. He took me to a seedy bar in the middle of the afternoon. I drank up and hit the road for Kerry.”
She’s tried the younger man too.
“I met him at work, during a career break from teaching. He was 23. I was 31. We were in a pub one night and Maggie May came on the jukebox.
“When Rod Stewart sang ‘the morning sun when it’s in your face really shows your age,’ he turned to me and said, ‘that reminds me of you.’ Another time he told me I sang like his grandmother. We didn’t last too long after that one.”
There have, of course, been many others, but those were less memorable. Is Roisin still looking for Mr Right?
“Well, certainly I wouldn’t settle for less. But I am still open to the idea of meeting someone, even if he has a ready-made family. I wouldn’t rule that out.
“But if it’s not to be, I’m planning to turn into a batty old woman who wears purple and eats chocolates for breakfast because there’s no porridge. I find that idea quite enticing!”
*Something in Common by Roisin Meaney is published by Hachette.
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