‘Pain is shrouded in shame and secrecy’

SUICIDE, shrouded in shame and secrecy, is one of the greatest causes of misery in Ireland, a conference on suicide heard.

Almost 600 students from eight schools across Cork attended the Suicide Prevention and Awareness Conference.

Organised by transition year students at Mount Mercy, the conference is a Young Social Innovators Project aimed at tackling stigma surrounding suicide.

“We do not see the wreckage of a family affected by suicide the way we see the wreckage of a car after a fatal crash. There are no photos about suicide on the front pages of newspapers or on TV.

“We chose this topic because we feel it’s something there is not enough awareness around,” Transition Year student Niamh McCarthy, age 15, said.

Ian Delahunty, from Kilnamatyra in Cork, lost his father to suicide two years ago today. At the intensive care department in Clonmel Hospital he met his sister, in floods of tears.

“She whispered three words in my ear that will never leave me. ‘He shot himself’,” he said.

He told of the family’s heartbreak at having lost “their rock”.

“We could all turn to dad whenever we needed him, but this time two years ago, he felt he couldn’t turn to anyone.

“There is always another option. Don’t ever feel alone,” he said.

University College Cork lecturer and mental health professional, Marie Cregan, spoke of the heartbreak one mother felt following the suicide of her 17-year-old son.

“She said to me, ‘I don’t know why they call it heartbreak. It feels as if my whole body and soul is broken too’,” Ms Cregan said.

“Suicide, shrouded in shame and secrecy, is one of the greatest causes of misery in Ireland. The devastation caused to families is unbelievable,” she said.

Students were told of methods of preventing suicide including listening, understanding and sourcing support.

“Human understanding is the most effective weapon against suicide,” Ms Cregan said.

Patricia McCarthy, Ballincollig-based psychotherapist and counsellor with Social and Health Education Project (SHEP), examined the grief associated with suicide.

Bereavement grief is intensified following suicide, leaving loved ones dealing with a “roller-coaster of emotions” she said.

Grief and loss suffered earlier in life can often lead to suicidal thoughts, according to Ms McCarthy. “Suicidal youth are in pain, they don’t necessarily want to die, they want their pain to end,” she said.