Grey skies, brave faces and tired similes

WOULDN’T you know it. The one day when we’re the darlings of Europe and the entire continent is watching us on their TV screens and it mills rain.

Instead of losing money, power and influence yesterday, Ireland won friends, allies and comrades but not too many tourists. All that free rose tinted glasses publicity and Dublin was at its dreariest.

The day when the Irish extended their legendary welcome and hand of friendship and the place looks miserable its enough to make the entire staff of Bord Fáilte just throw the towel in altogether.

The weather wasn't the only damp squib though yesterday evening. The announcement of the final result was an equally anti-climactic affair.

All constituencies had fired their results in to Dublin Castle before 3pm, but the continent had to wait until 5pm when Bertie Ahern arrived over from Croke Park to confirm that we were throwing our arms open to our European cousins.

The nation's favourite former Taoiseach Garret Fitzgerald, one of the stars of the referendum campaign, said it was discourteous of the current Taoiseach to keep people waiting that long while he was at a match.

But the "Sports Mad" Taoiseach explained that this was the time slot booked with the European Broadcasting Union for the announcement and there was nothing he or even Garret could do about it.

In fact, Bertie had left the Compromise Rules game before the end to get over to the Castle on time. "I don't even know who won," he chirped.

Enthusiastically spotting his chance, Charlie Bird piped up that Ireland won the game but Australia won the series, to which Bertie acerbically retorted that the RTE man could always be relied upon to have the news.

In the absence of the star attraction earlier on, Gerry Adams used the time and waiting cameras to wax lyrical on the outcome of the referendum. Choreographing his arrival into Dublin Castle, he was swamped by hordes of cameras and microphones.

But far more intriguing than any Aussie-Irish clash was the confrontation of Gerry and John Bruton.

Spotting the Brute lurking about while he courted his adoring media fans, Grissly broke off from his monologue to shake hands and offer congratulations.

Big John retorted with self satisfied sarcasm: "That's democracy. Pure democracy."

The credible No campaigners like Green Party chairman John Gormley and Socialist TD Joe Higgins discreetly lamented their loss and blamed the massive resources available to the Yes campaign. Looking relieved and a little haggard after their campaigning, the Yes camp were in fine fettle.

Euro Parliament president Pat Cox mingled talking about information deficits and then broke into a polemic on the Berlin financial agreement of 1999. The final announcement by Returning Officer Peter Greene was greeted ecstatically by the Yes supporters. Waving tricolours and star studded EU flags, they barely refrained from breaking into the auld Olé, Olé, Olé. That's Spanish for: "Thanks be to God we didn't mess it up a second time."