Are you having a good day?
ARE you down in the dumps today? Depressed at the thought of a week at work? Worried about unpaid Christmas bills? Sick of the dark, dreary weather? Disgusted that you have again failed to keep a single new year’s resolution?
You’re not the only one, because today is blue Monday — officially the most depressing day of the year. It has been since 2005, when Welsh psychologist Cliff Arnall calculated that the third Monday in January is the gloomiest day.
If anyone knows how to counter the doldrums of blue Monday, it ought to be the 100 experts in positive psychology who have contributed to The World Book of Happiness.
“I read miles and miles of scientific reports and research for this book,” says Leo Bormans, the Belgian journalist who compiled the book.
“But I was surprised that none of my friends had ever heard anything about any of it. So, I decided to contact the most prominent experts in the field and ask them to sum up their work as a message to the world.
“I hope it will — in one way or another — contribute to the happiness of everyone in the world.”
These are high hopes for a blue Monday.
So, what lessons can we learn from these experts in happiness? Let’s start with the issue that is bound to be worrying most of us: money. Does it really make you happy? According to Professor Stavros Drakopoulos, of Greece, the answer is more complicated than you might expect.
“We call it the happiness paradox,” Drakopoulos says. “Income is very important for people’s happiness when they are poor, but much less so when they are financially comfortable … It seems income is important for happiness, but that more and more income does not lead to more and more happiness.”
So, if you have enough money to lead a comfortable life, count yourself lucky. If you’re not quite there yet, console yourself with the thought that those who are richer than you may not necessarily be that much happier.
If money doesn’t make us happy, what things do? Over and over again, across the 50 countries surveyed in this book, there is one consistent answer to this question: other people. Our family and friends are what make life worth living. “The good life follows in the wake of loving relationships with friends, neighbours, colleagues, family members and spouses,” says American professor Christopher Peterson.
“Other people matter and we are all other people to someone else.”
With this in mind, we should all cultivate our social lives today. Have lunch with a friend. Go on a date with your partner. By giving priority to your relationships, you’re on your way to achieving happiness.
But this doesn’t mean we should live entirely for others. Dr Ilona Boniwell, of the UK, has investigated the concept of ‘me time’.
“People who claim this ‘me time’ are much happier as a whole,” Boniwel says. “They are more able to find the balance between time for themselves and time for others, time for the things that have to be done and for the things they want to do.”
So, whether it’s a bubble bath and a good book or a massage at a spa, don’t you dare feel guilty. Quality ‘me time’ has been proven to be important.
Exercise has also been shown to contribute to happiness. This is something we all know, but it’s worth reiterating.
“An avalanche of research reveals aerobic exercise can relieve mild depression and anxiety while promoting health and energy,” says American professor David G Myers. “So get off your bums, couch potatoes.”
Sleep is another important factor. Happy people live full lives, but they also reserve time for sleep. Many of the rest of us suffer from a lack of sleep, with resulting fatigue and gloomy moods. Perhaps we should all plan a few more early nights?
Yet another factor influencing an individual’s happiness, referred to again and again in this book, is the way an individual views his own life.
“We are all protagonists in our own life stories as well as being the narrators,” says Professor Jonathan Adler. “Crafting this most important fiction holds the key to real happiness, especially in the wake of adversity.”
We need to feel we have some control when bad things happen. “You are not powerless to the whims of fate,” says Professor Adler. “You can shape the plot of your story.”
Robert Biswas-Diener, one of the other contributors to this book, agrees with Adler. He went on a hiking trip in Greenland, aiming to travel 40km from a fishing camp to a settlement. Eight hours into the hike, he met a glacier and was forced to return to camp.
“As I walked, feet aching and body temperature dropping, I realised I had replaced one goal with another,” he says. “My new goal was to stay alive to return home to my wife and children — a goal no less worthy than my original one. By revising my story, I was able to frame my perceived failure in new terms and see my hike as a success.”
The lesson to be learned is that those who are happy see themselves as being powerful. They believe they can make things happen. The story we tell ourselves is important. Believing you are a victim will make you behave like one.
Other contributors believe there is a recipe for happiness. So much so that Croatians Dubravka Miljkovic and Majda Rijavec even give theirs.
“There are six essential ingredients,” they say. “A few good, reliable friends, one stable, loving relationship, the challenge of a job that is matched to your skills, enough money to satisfy your basic needs (and some non-basic ones from time to time), at least three good things on a daily basis and gratitude for having all of the above.”
Herman Van Rompuy, president of the European Council, must have been anticipating blue Monday when he sent 200 world leaders, including our own Enda Kenny, a copy of this book for Christmas. Here’s hoping they pay attention to the essay explaining our need for trust in our governments.
While they do that, the rest of us can comfort ourselves with the finding that happiness is not a duty. There is a certain amount of sadness and suffering in life and it can sometimes be worthwhile. Maybe our sadness today will teach us a lesson about overspending on our credit cards next Christmas? If that’s not consolation enough, there’s always the thought that nothing is permanent.
“No matter how bad things are, they will not stay that way,” says Professor Leon Garduno, of Mexico. “Everything changes and eventually there will be an improvement.”
That improvement may even come tomorrow. Follow the advice of these experts in happiness and you may wake up feeling better. At the very least, it will no longer be blue Monday.
The World Book of Happiness is published by Marshall Cavendish stg£19.99.
