Bernard O'Shea: Hips don’t lie — this is karma for mocking my mum

Feeling as flexible as a rusty gate? Avoid a rebellion by giving them a flex

Bernard O'Shea: Mocking is surely catching. Picture: Moya Nolan

As a kid, I used to do impressions of my parents as my "party piece". I would roll out the well-worn lines that layered the vocal landscape of my youth: "Close that f**king door". "If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?" "Try it on here. Sure, who's looking at you?" .

But the biggest laugh my three older sisters would get was when I'd pretend to be my mum in the morning and repeatedly say, "I'm shocking stiff." Well, mocking is surely catching. For the last few years, I've woken like a plank. Tying my shoelaces takes me at least an hour in the morning.

One of the main reasons for my tin man-like movement is that I carry weight. I only have a mid-life expansion around my middle. It puts pressure on my lower back and knees. However, the biggest issue is the lack of dynamic movement. When I hear the word "dynamic", all I can think of is the opening sequence to the '80s hit TV classic Fame. The problem is I can't see myself dressing up in a leotard, jump socks and headband because I don't think I'd be able to physically get into them.

Although I walk every day and lift a few weights three times a week (I'm currently using a neon set of pink weights my wife bought. I think there's body form written on the side of them), my hips are as stiff as a Donald Draper old fashioned. My Instagram feed is now full of new-fangled workouts with words that make "dynamic" look like a caveman hitting a rock with his head. Plyometric Movements, Functional Kinetics, Reactive Drills, Multiplanar Training, and my absolute favourite, Neuromuscular Activation, are the clangers. I'm sure all these are fantastic and have changed people's lives, but I was only looking for a stretch to help loosen up my hips.

Tight hips are common, especially as we age or lead a more sedentary lifestyle. However, when we spend long periods sitting (which I do, especially in the car)—whether at a desk or on the couch—mobility becomes restricted. The muscles around the hips, particularly the hip flexors, can become shortened and tight from prolonged inactivity. This shortening reduces the flexibility of the hip joint, leading to stiffness.

Another massive culprit to getting tight hips is poor posture. Lousy posture can weaken muscles integral to the hip joint's function, particularly the glutes and lower back. When these muscles are underused or imbalanced, the body compensates by tightening surrounding muscles, which can limit overall mobility. Regular exercise without proper stretching or mobility work can also contribute to hip tightness, as strength training often emphasises contraction without lengthening the muscles, making them more prone to stiffness over time. That's no problem for me, as the neon pinks weigh less than 5 kg.

All this information is lovely, but I wanted a straightforward exercise to make it easier to put my shoes on in the morning. Look what a basic "tight hips" search on Instagram did! It sent me down a digital rabbit hole that ironically contributed to me sitting down for hours scrolling while my hips got tighter. After being told by several physios and GPs, I eventually relinquished and started regularly flexing the flexor, specifically the Hip Flexor Stretch, also called a "lunge stretch."

To perform a primary hip flexor stretch, begin kneeling with one knee on the ground and the other foot in front of you, forming a 90-degree angle with both legs. Push your hips forward and keep your back straight. You should feel a stretch along the front of the hip of the leg on the ground. (For me, it's very tight.) Hold this position for about 20-30 seconds, then switch to the other side. But the easier way is to just Google "hip flexor stretch."

Stretching is easy, but doing it for 10 or 15 minutes daily is the bit I couldn't get my head around. I'd last two or three minutes, get bored, and sit down again. But now I just listen to a podcast or listen to music. Instead of telling myself, "YOU HAVE TO STRETCH", I think of it as some quality time with no interference to listen to whatever takes my fancy. But the real benefit is if you persist for longer than a few weeks, you might just think about buying yourself that leotard.