Richard Hogan: Remembering Rían: Why I became a Make A Wish ambassador

Remembering Rían: A boy of pure joy

Richard Hogan: "When I think of Rían, which we often do as a family, I think of the song by John Lennon, Beautiful Boy."

One of the greatest honours of my life was being asked by Nicola Kelly –my wife’s cousin and best friend – to do the eulogy for her six-year-old son, Rían Hickey.

Rían died from a brain tumour in 2012. Rían was just five when he became sick.

It was a heart-wrenching time for the whole family. We were all in awe as Nicola faced into every parent’s worst nightmare with such dignity and courage.

Her strength was – and still is – inspiring. For one full year, Nicola brought Rían to every appointment, driving up and down the narrow roads from Carlow to Temple Street, Crumlin Children’s Hospital and St Luke’s in Rathgar.

She cared for him through every stage, as he recovered from treatment.

I never heard Nicola say a negative word in that long, difficult time.

She was surrounded by the support of her sisters, Yvonne and Darina, who loved Rían like he was their son.

Nicola Kelly and her son Rían Hickey. Rían got to visit Euro Disney with Make a Wish, before he passed away.

When I think of Rían, which we often do as a family, I think of the song by John Lennon, Beautiful Boy.

Rían was a beautiful boy, full of life and fun. I clearly remember the first time I interreacted with him as a young boy, he couldn’t have been more than two years of age when he came into my bedroom and said in a thick Carlow accent, ‘Get up, Richie, it’s the morning’.

He reached his arm into the bed and grabbed me by the foot and literally dragged me out of the bed. I said to my wife, “That fella will play football for Carlow, yet”.

He was a powerful boy. Loved Legos, Toy Story and X-Factor. When Rían became very ill, Nicola moved back in with her parents. Christine and Pat Kelly adored their little grandson. He was idolised in that house. He spent his last few months surrounded by love.

I’m writing about Rían
because last month I was asked to be an ambassador for Make a Wish Ireland.

I immediately said yes.

I saw, first hand, the incredible work Make a Wish do in the lives of vulnerable families and sick children.

Rían went to Euro Disney a month before he died with his mum, and his father Andrew Hickey.

He was all talk about going to see Toy Story. his toy Woody in hand. It was a magical time, the fulfilment of a dream. This February myself and my wife went to Euro Disney with our children.

We exchanged glances, thinking about beautiful Rían as we walked around that magical kingdom.

So many children there are sick. But they are getting to
experience a dream.

Make a Wish represents all that is good about our society. In a time of extreme individualism, where it can feel like people are only concerned with their own interests, Make a Wish reminds us all how important it is to care for each other. They provide wishes for sick children and support for parents who are at their most vulnerable.

The work Make a Wish do is far beyond the granting of wishes. They become deeply connected to the families they work with. Each family they work with becomes a member of the ‘Make a Wish’ family.

Resilience is not a genetic code but found in the community and support of others. They hold families in the dark of illness. They are a source of light in a difficult time.

I talked with the staff of Make a Wish recently and I was moved by the passion in their voices, the determination and pride in the work they do.

It is an incredible team, from management to the finance department to the wish-granters. Everyone in the team feels the responsibility to make dreams come true for sick children.

Everyone wants to be a pillar for a vulnerable family. The team is led by Susan O’Dwyer. I have known Susan now for several years and have always been impressed with how much she cares about others.

You see that reflected in the team. They are driven by a passion to make dreams come true for seriously ill children.

Last week was ‘Wish Week’. Make a Wish Ireland cannot do the important work they do without the help of the community.

When I think of the happiness Rían experienced and all the happiness children experience each year, it is only possible because someone donates something to the charity.

Each year, it is estimated that 650 children will be diagnosed with a life-threatening illness but only 33% of those families apply to Make a Wish for support.

In my experience, some families believe there are “more deserving families” than themselves.

Irish people are incredibly thoughtful and caring. More funding means more support.

This year, Make a Wish are hoping that communities come together to collectively raise money, either through group activities and community participation.

The more we act as a community, the healthier we all are. We need to be more united than ever as a society.

I can’t think of a better community activity than making dreams come true for seriously ill children.

When I think of Rían, I think of a powerful, smiley boy with the sun on his broad shoulders.

He faced his illness with such courage, surrounded by the love of a wonderful family.

Tomorrow would be Rían’s 19th birthday. What a man he would have been.