My Wedding Day with Julie Jay and Fred Cooke: 'There were biblical obstacles'

Julie Jay and Fred Cook on their wedding day

Fred and I got married on December 11, 2021. We’d had to postpone our wedding twice, due to covid. When we did get married, there was a window of time where people were getting married, so we booked it in. Interestingly, the following week, which I’m sure was a coincidence, there was a huge surge with covid, and weddings were called off again.

It was essentially a covid wedding. Because of that, it was the first wedding a lot of people there had been to for a long, long time. There were definitely a lot of extra stresses involved and a lot of extra things to be worried about having our wedding then, but I think, actually, it was nearly good for us to have that limit on numbers, because it just meant that anyone who was there, we really wanted them to be there.

During the week of the wedding, there was a terrible storm. We were without electricity or water for three days. And I did say to Fred, between covid, which is essentially a plague, and now this huge storm, I feel like these biblical obstacles are coming up for us. Is this the universe’s way of telling us we shouldn’t get married? We did have a good laugh, but I was thinking if it didn’t work out, I would look back and think there were a lot of red flags before that wedding.

We had to really think about how to plan the wedding: Fred and I both had vulnerable people in our families. We knew that some of the older guests were understandably nervous about large gatherings, so we came up with this idea that we were going to have family at the church and then a lunch with family. And then we would have a separate evening event with our friends, like an afters, really.

Julie Jay and Fred Cooke on their wedding day

I got my dress in a vintage shop by the Imperial Hotel in Cork. I have to say, I really, really loved my dress; well, it was actually a two-piece, a plain white top, off the shoulder with long sleeves, and then there was a beautiful statement skirt in gold and cream, with a feathery statement at the end.

Fred went for this lovely kind of aubergine or plum shade for his suit. He looked great, and his brother, and my man of honour, were both dressed the same as Fred. And then, obviously, we had our son, Ted, and he was matching on the day as well.

Obviously, with the wedding on a December day in Dingle, I certainly wasn’t expecting sunshine. We just got away with it; it wasn’t too wet or dreary, a little overcast and definitely cold. That’s actually part of the reason I quite fancied the December wedding, because I love being inside and being cozy. And, also, I thought it was a savvy move on my part, because getting married at Christmas meant the hotel would be nicely decorated.

Having the wedding during covid and with a young child meant that I did find it all quite stressful. I had our son, Ted, in the bridal suite with me the night before the wedding; because he was a covid baby, he was super attached to me at the time, so I had to keep him in with me.

I was very concerned about Ted on the day: Is he okay? Is he happy? Is he gonna cry during the ceremony? Will it be too long a day for him? I had a lot of anxiety about that.

Julie Jay and Fred Cooke with their son Ted. 'I had our son, Ted, in the bridal suite with me the night before the wedding.'

And then, poor Fred, three of his best friends test positive the day before the wedding and couldn’t come. Up until the morning, we were just waiting for other friends to text and say, ‘I’m so sorry, I can’t come, I tested positive’. That was definitely an added stress.

In the hotel, for the evening part of the wedding, we had a buffet dinner, which worked out very well. And then we did the speeches. It’s so funny, because I still encounter comedians who were at the wedding, and they say, ‘I think about your man of honour’s speech all the time — he knocked it out of the park’. And he was the only non-performer doing a speech, and he outperformed everyone. I actually got a bit emotional doing my speech, because I think it was at that point of the day when I felt like I could relax and just enjoy the party.

For our first dance, we had Rainy Night in Soho by The Pogues. We had an incredible band. Fred picked them, because he’s the music man, and I think one of them used to play in The Pogues, actually. Everyone was so excited and happy to be out. It was nearly Christmas and it was the first party in ages, so there was great craic.

When I think back now on the day, the first memory I have is walking up the aisle with my dad. It was a lovely feeling, because it was just so real, you know?