Bernard O'Shea: Five reasons why borrowing things is a great — and terrible — idea

We've all been there—standing in our shed, staring at a middle aisle drill we haven't touched in years, wondering why we bought it in the first place. Or, conversely, desperately needing something and thinking, I could just borrow it from someone else.

Bernard O'Shea, comedian.

1. It Saves You Money — But At What Cost?

Why buy a ladder when you’ll use it twice a year? Borrowing is the frugal genius’s dream: Until you realise that asking to borrow a ladder for the fourth time makes you a freeloader. Financially, it makes sense. Behavioural economists suggest that borrowing allows us to allocate money towards more urgent expenses, rather than tie it up in seldom-used items. But beware. If you borrow too often, you become that guy: The one people avoid because they know you’re about to say, ‘Would you have a…?’ before they can even say ‘hello’.

2. It Builds Community (Or at Least Gives You Leverage)

Sharing tools, books, and random household items strengthens relationships: So we like to think. According to social psychology, reciprocal altruism is key to human survival, and borrowing fosters mutual dependency. That said, borrowing creates an unspoken contract. The next time they need something, you’ll feel obligated to return the favour. And if you don’t? Congratulations: You’ve made an enemy for life.

3. You Get to Test Before You Buy (But Beware of Emotional Attachments)

Is an air fryer right for you? Borrow one before committing. This is a practical way to avoid buyer’s remorse. But be warned: People form emotional attachments to things they borrow. That’s thanks to the endowment effect. You might enjoy the air fryer so much that returning it feels like a break-up. Worse, the lender might forget they owned it and assume you’ve stolen it.

4. It’s Better for the Environment (Unless You Become a Hoarder)

Sharing items means less waste, fewer unnecessary purchases, and a smaller carbon footprint. Environmental psychologists suggest that reducing consumption helps mitigate decision fatigue. But there’s always that one friend who hoards everything under the guise of ‘saving the planet’. You know: The person with eight slow cookers, 12 broken bikes, and a garage full of ‘just in case’ items. You’ve joined the circular economy, but in the worst way possible.

5. It Can Get You Out of a Tight Spot (But You’ll Pay in Favour Debts)

Need a last-minute suit? A power drill for one project? A car to move a couch? Borrowing can be a lifesaver. But nothing is truly free. Sociologists note that borrowing creates favour debts: Subconscious tallies we keep of who owes whom. You may think borrowing your mate’s car was a win, but wait until they call asking you to help paint their entire house, because, ‘Sure, aren’t we always helping each other out?’

...and 5 Reasons Why Borrowing is a Terrible Idea...

1. You Might Never Get It Back — And You’ll Hate Yourself for It

Borrowed items tend to disappear in to a vortex of, ‘Ah sure, I thought that was mine now.’ Studies on ownership psychology show that once someone has possessed something for a while, their brain registers it as theirs: Even if it was yours. If you get it back, expect it in questionable condition, like your book that’s now covered in coffee stains.

2. Social Awkwardness Ensues — As Irish People Can’t Confrontation

There’s no polite way to ask for your item back without sounding like a debt collector. Instead of saying, ‘Can I get my drill back?’ you’ll awkwardly joke, ‘Haven’t seen that drill in a while, haha!’, hoping they take the hint. Spoiler: They won’t. Conflict avoidance is an Irish speciality, which means we’d rather lose a valuable item than face the horror of making someone uncomfortable.

3. Borrowing Creates a Lifelong Obligation — The Contract You Never Knew You Signed

Lend a friend a garden rake, and, at some point, you’ll be guilt-tripped in to dog-sitting, airport runs, or helping them move house. According to studies on social-exchange theory, borrowing creates invisible contracts of reciprocity, meaning that, at some point, you will be called upon to return the favour. And you can’t refuse — because then you’re the bad guy.

4. Some Things Just Shouldn’t Be Shared — Ever

Books, Tupperware, and power tools top the list. Books never return in their original shape, Tupperware never returns, and power tools return only after they’ve been used on something deeply suspicious.

Research in to contamination psychology explains why we’re repulsed by shared personal items — so maybe think twice before lending out your favourite hot water bottle.

5. The ‘What If I Need It?’ Effect — The Root of All Hoarding

The reason people hold on to borrowed items is psychological — what if I need it some day? This is known as loss aversion: The tendency to fear loss more than we value gain. That’s why your mate still has your extension lead from 2019. It’s also why you refuse to throw out that pile of old mobile-phone chargers. And it’s why lending anything feels like playing psychological chess with the future.

At the end of the day, borrowing and lending in Ireland are less about items and more about navigating social landmines.

So, should you borrow or not? If you can do it without emotional collateral, fire ahead. But if you don’t want to spend years being reminded that the drill is someone else’s, maybe just buy your own.