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We should be so proud to be Irish

Oh feck, what a feeling, Mick Noonan today announced that we are free... the troika have gone off into the sunset, slán abhaile lads!

This must be what it felt like back in 1922 when the Imperial army of occupation (the Brits) decided that Ireland was un-governable by his majesty and his loyal ministers, and also that shooting and hanging us just made us mad enough to shoot back, (such un-gentlemanly conduct could not be tolerated by loyal subjects). So now we have achieved freedom again, thanks to our unwavering austerity programme and our ability to satisfy the “markets”, and this according to our “dear leader” is down to us, the Irish people!

I never felt so proud in my life. Imagine, thanks to us we have upheld the status and wealth of a few big “investors” and a crowd of experts who live in a hedge; we have also managed to keep the wealthy in Ireland in the style of life which they deserve, we have even managed to keep them in good pensions for the rest of their lives. !But,!!! listen now to the cribbers and those left wing pinkos trying to knock the progress we have made.

As sure as there’s a hole in me backside, they’ll come out in the morning with their alternative way. Usual auld rubbish, children going to school hungry and cold, pensioners choosing between food and heating, thousands emigrating every month, stealth taxes increasing all the time, honest hard working people behind in mortgages, soup kitchens opening, homelessness increasing, suicide because of financial pressures, health service being stripped bare, education system falling apart, small business going to the wall. Them whingers have a list as long as a walking stick for the man on the moon, all they want is to burn those wonderful bondholders.

Look at the positives... thousands are back at work (job-bridge +€50 a week); generic drugs, so people who are sick can now afford to pay for drugs (cuts out all the need for them silly medical cards); a new insolvency scheme introduced; lots of new lawyers there; local democracy being abolished, (no need for that nonsense); NAMA, that wonderful agency who will at least restore the wealth of those who made a few mistakes and cost us €65bn. And now we own the banks, so at least it’s our own who are screwing us.

I could go on, but to be honest, I’m going to celebrate with a bottle of wine (+€1) before I head off abroad away from my family and friends to try and earn a living. To FG, FF, Lab, SF, et al... Tom Barry, James Connolly and all those men from 1916-22 would be proud of ye, I’m reduced to tears thinking of the sacrifices ye must have made to bring about this momentous landmark in Irish history.

Neil O’Sullivan
Passage West


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