When the neo-Nazis get organised here in Ireland it’ll be some cod-Celtic nonsense like the Sons of Balor or Tuatha De Dannann Purity. Thankfully it won’t be Irish Pride because that’s a sliced pan, writes Colm O’Regan
We were burgled earlier this year. Nothing major was taken and we weren’t there. For some reason I didn’t experience that violation of one’s privacy that people talk about. Instead I thought ‘What did the burglar make of us? Did they think we were untidy? Did they tut-tut at the porridge bowl left in the sink with the remains hardened in?’.
But the main feeling was: Burglars are way ahead of us. Burglars — if they’re any way competent — spend most of their time thinking about how to get into your house. Whereas you spend only a fraction of time thinking about how to keep them out. They’re up to speed on the latest alarms and window locking mechanisms. You listen, eyes glazed, to the burglar alarm man as he explains the features. They are experts in human behaviour. They know where you probably put the keys. Probably, like me, you put them in a stupid place.
Most of us don’t spend all our time thinking about burglars. We’ve got other things to think about. A similar rule holds for arseholes. Most of us aren’t arseholes, which means we’re not very good at dealing with the situations they create. An arsehole is 100% committed to being one. They are subject matter experts in Arsehology. The person who catches your eye in the chipper at 2am and asks to know what you are looking at is not looking for an objective exposition of the facts regarding what you are looking at.
They are not going to listen to the perfectly logical argument that you weren’t looking at anything until they went out of their way to attract your attention. It’s very hard to ‘win the situation’. And even if you did administer a thrashing to the cad (you, not me, I haven’t a hope), they’d use the tools of civil society — suing — to defeat you later.
So it is with the Neo-Nazis, Oldeo-Nazis, Uruk-Nazis or Alt-right or Hob-Right or, when the get organised here in Ireland, some cod-Celtic nonsense like the Sons of Balor or Tuatha De Dannann Purity. Thankfully it won’t be Irish Pride because that’s a sliced pan.
We will see more of this Neo-Nazi stuff in Ireland soon. There are already plenty of them espousing a septic philosophy online. They’re never going to get many votes because they’re probably terrible at getting Medical Cards for your nan but they will start meeting and protesting more. So far Ireland’s fascists have been sort of crap at it.
But it’s going to get deadly serious. A philosophy doesn’t stay that incompetent for long. There’ll be support from abroad as America export its gobshites in the same way it exported its homophobia to Africa There’ll be triggers to allow them to bleat ‘enough is enough with this PC nonsense’. I wouldn’t be surprised if this time next year, if Cork GAA gets to Croke Park, and there’s a renewed campaign to ban the Confederate flag someone will gather a few of his mates for a protest about it, citing tradition. And other opportunists will pile in. There will be other flashpoints.
I don’t think there’s a perfect way to counteract the Neo-Nazis when they start showing up properly in our conversations. They’ll make arguments that appear plausible. They may stay on the right side of the law but move the middle ground off in the direction of arseholery. It won’t be easy.
The biggest thing these alt-er boys fear is consequences of their actions but it’s not always clear-cut how to go about doing that.
But the first thing I think we should accept is that like burglars and common-or-garden arseholes, they’ve already done a lot more thinking about this than you. They’ll be trained in propaganda because they’re a tiny minority who need to reach a slightly bigger minority. They don’t need us to agree. Just to avoid eye contact and buy our chips. So at the very least we need to get informed. The burglars are coming. Time to get alarmed.
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