COLM O'REGAN: 65% of all desserts are eaten by people saying 'take that away from me'

Here’s your weekly journey into the mind of Colm O’Regan.

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COLM O'REGAN: Next year, Met Offices, put Colm on the list

The Atlantic storms name list is out. This year could be a turning point. A sea-change, if you will.

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COLM O'REGAN: Sometimes life just imitates art

Sometimes life just imitates art. The art was the Tea Master episode of Father Ted when Ted gives Mrs Doyle an automated tea-maker.

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COLM O'REGAN: Since children came along, Black Bin day has been more important than ever

I heard the roar outside of the engine and ancient instincts were reawoken.

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COLM O'REGAN: Are you busy? We all ask one another all the time - and we all are

Well that’s good news. Maybe I can relax a little. You see they reckon slacking can be evolutionarily advantageous.

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COLM O'REGAN: Opening Lines: In digital and analogue, spam is brief hope, then disappointment, then fury

Spam: the disappointment in your inbox. The notification that turns out to be nothing. It is angrily disposed of.

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COLM O'REGAN: Opening Lines: It’s been a while since I’ve been in a nightclub queue

Walking up the street after a night-out, home at a reasonable hour to let the babysitter go home, we saw it. A nightclub queue. One that was of proper Celtic Tiger length.

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COLM O'REGAN: There's something bugging me and it needs to fly

I swear they’re doing it just to spite me. They know it’ll drive me mad. One more insult. There is nothing more galling than two — no wait there’s another one — THREE FLIES at it hammer on tongs in the corner of the telly screen as you’re trying to catch up on episodes of a dark psychological Victorian thriller.

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COLM O'REGAN: Our relationship with our photos had become unhealthy

IT has been a surprising hit in the house: the screensaver, writes Colm O'Regan

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COLM O'REGAN: Opening Lines: Slacks... represent the beginning of the end of summer

You'll notice it as you go into the big clothes shops from now on: signs done in blackboard chalk-style, and a smell of thousands of sensible shoes, which are Fabrique en Vietnam or Laos or Myanmar. (Wherever labour laws are most lax).

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COLM O'REGAN: 'This is the first England team I would not have been dreading going on a stag with'

I felt it slightly. Did you? Maybe not happiness when they were winning. But definitely disappointment when they lost.

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COLM O'REGAN: The heat has turned the world on its head

THIS heat! The world is on its head, writes Colm O’Regan.

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COLM O'REGAN: 'Our next challenge is potty training, the CAO for officially being accepted into playschool'

IT’S just a small tingle of emotion. Not as deep as other emotional moments, like, say, watching another country vote for the first time, or a goal scored from one of those counter-attacks in the World Cup, where the winger hoofs an arcing ball into the path of the striker, who has just run from his own penalty area and hits it without breaking stride.

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