Boyd Barrett’s fiscal fetishes arouse orgy of laughter in Dáil

Was it Fiscal Farce or Carry On Compact?

Either way, the national parliament did its best to lower the tone yesterday.

Orgies, arousals and fetishes were the talk of the house. And no, it wasn’t an effort to make Michelle Mulherin blush.

Instead, it was a discussion about that seemingly most sexual of things… the fiscal compact treaty.

For a few minutes, the Dáil had all the appearances of a middle-aged frat house — or should that be prat house? — as TDs roared with laughter.

It started with Socialist TD and no campaigner Richard Boyd Barrett wanting to know why the Government was pursuing with the May 31 referendum. He pointed to the fact that Labour’s sister party in Germany, the SDP, had described the treaty as a “cutbacks orgy”.

It was therefore “extraordinary” that Labour would support it, and he called for the Coalition to abandon “this discredited and doomed strategy”.

But Tánaiste and Labour leader Eamon Gilmore seemed worried that Mr Boyd Barrett was about to get a groin strain.

“It may well be that what is happening in Greece is a cause for arousal for you, Deputy Boyd Barrett… But believe you me, it’s not the route that sensible people in this country want to go.”

Mr Boyd Barrett retorted by wondering where sexed-up socialists like the SDP and Mr Gilmore got their “fetish” for “interesting vocabulary such as orgies and arousals”.

Just when most of the TDs thought they could contain themselves, one of their colleagues made a quip about “stimulus”.

Queue fresh gales of laughter. They hadn’t enjoyed themselves this much since the last Dáil when Michael D Higgins mistakenly referred to the Minister for Foreign Affairs as the Minister for Fornication.

Enda Kenny, meanwhile, was in no mood for a love-in — not with Vincent Browne at least.

Quizzed by reporters at an event in Dublin, the Taoiseach made it clear he would not participate in a TV3 debate on the treaty being moderated by the combative Browne.

Browne, of course, once lightheartedly suggested during a time when Kenny was struggling as Fine Gael leader that he should take a bottle of whiskey and a gun and go into a dark room.

Kenny didn’t see the funny side, and still doesn’t.

The only thing Browne arouses in the Taoiseach, it seems, is deep irritation.


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