LARRY RYAN: Bringing the game into disrepute in 2013

CUP RUNNETH OVER: Italian runner Devis Licciardi

Caught dispensing urine using a fake penis after a 10km road race in Southern Italy.

PAIR OF DROPKICKS: Geelong’s Josh Caddy and Billie Smedts

The Aussie Rules duo were arrested after ‘pranking’ team-mate Jackson Thurlow by breaking into his home wearing balaclavas.

BITING TACKLES DOWN UNDER: Anthony Watts

Aussie rugby league player banned for eight matches for sinking his teeth into an opponent’s penis.

REVERSING THE CHARGES: Lecce striker Ousmane Drame

Allegedly withheld payment from a prostitute, then fled on a bicycle with her purse.

RING RUSTY: Panamanian substitute Rolando Escobar

Caught on camera trying to cut off a stubborn wedding ring with a pliers while sitting on bench. Annoyed the wife, still didn’t get on.

INSULT TO INJURY: Chicago Bulls fan Matthew Thompson

Sued Bulls guard Derrick Rose for missing the NBA season with a cruciate injury. Claimed it caused him mental breakdowns, emotional distress and obesity issues.

35,000 NOT OUT: Sri Lankan cricketer Ramith Rambukwella

Sparked panic on a flight from St Lucia to London when he attempted to open a cabin door at 35,000 feet. “The event was linked to an element of alcohol,” confirmed BA.

APP FOR THAT: Sergiy Stakhovsky

Grabbed an iPhone from his bag and took a photo of a ball mark after a disputed line call in the French Open defeat by Richard Gasquet. Later tweeted the evidence. Ball looked good.

GOAL GLUT: Four Nigerian soccer clubs

Suspended after matches finished 79-0 and 67-0 on the last weekend of the season.

SELFIE UNAWARE: Swedish politician Lars Ohly

Accidentally showcased his penis on Instagram after he took a photo of the new Liverpool tattoo on his leg.

RUFF JUSTICE: University of Florida Linebacker Antonio Morrison

Arrested for ‘harassing’ a police dog after he stuck his head through a police car window and ‘barked’ in the dog’s face.

YOUNG OFFENDER: Detroit Lions wide receiver Titus Young

Arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. Car impounded. Later arrested again trying to scale fence to retrieve it.

STRETCHING PATIENCE: Javier Mascherano

Sent off while playing for Argentina for kicking at the driver of a motorised stretcher that was ferrying him off the pitch after an injury.

CADDYSACK: LPGA golfer Jessica Korda

Fired her caddy after nine holes of the US Open. Handed the bag to her boyfriend.

BARE-FACED CHEEK: H&M

Forced to admit they used a butt double for that ad with David Beckham running through Hollywood backyards in his jocks.

CUP SHOCK Tajikistan side FC Vaksh

Former player Ahtam Hamroqulov claims they had his electricity and water supply cut off after he helped knock them out of the Tajikistan Cup.

NEW BENNY HILL Peter Sagan

The Slovakian celebrated his second-place finish in the Tour of Flanders by pinching one of the podium girls’ backsides.

ARRESTING SPECTACLE: PSNI and the Marbella police

Saw their football match at the World Police and Fire Games abandoned because of “continued inappropriate behaviour.”

PROPER DISORDER: New Zealand Warriors rugby league team

Fined €9,000 after TV viewers saw prop forward Russell Packer answer the call of nature during a break in play.

NO WAY, JOSE: Bella Vista’s Jose Jimenez

The Argentinean cleared a stray dog off the pitch by attempting to throw it over a perimeter fence. The dog rebounded back into play, happily unhurt. Jimenez was attacked by opponents and later sacked.

TANNOYING BEHAVIOUR: Italian club Nuovo Campobasso

Fined €10,000 after president Ferruccio Capone used the stadium’s loudspeaker to abuse a referee after a controversial red card.

LEGAL EAGLES: Parents of a high school American football player

Filed a bullying complaint against a rival Texas school — for inflicting a 91-0 defeat on their son’s team.

FLASHED RED CARD: Croydon AC’s Louis Blake

Ordered to remove black cycling shorts from underneath red shorts. Did so. Showed the ref he had done so. Sent off for exposing himself.

ANIMAL INSTINCTS: A Louisiana alligator

Gobbled up a snake live on TV during Sky Sports’ coverage of golf’s Zurich Classic.

S**T HAPPENS: Armagh hurlers

Accused, by Roscommon, of “pulling the lever” on the team bus toilet outside Athleague GAA club grounds. Armagh poo-poohed the allegations.

TALE OF THE TAPE: Unidentified intruder

Germany’s answer to Fr Neil Horan who spoiled Wilson Kipsang record-breaking moment at the Berlin marathon by breaking the tape ahead of him.

HAT-TRICKERY: Peru U20 international Max Barrios

Investigated for using a false name, for not being Peruvian, and for being overage. Turns out Ecuadorian Juan Espinoza was 25.

GNAW LOVE LOST: Luis Suarez

You may have heard something about this. The lengths people will go to have Mike Tyson follow them on Twitter.

WHO ARE YA?: LaTonya Norton

“Haven’t you run before?” The US TV network WDSU host looked into Mo Farah’s background after his win in the New Orleans half marathon.

MEDICAL INTERVENTION: Aparecidense physio

Brazilian medic Ramildo Fonseca stepped into the goalmouth to make a late double-save to prevent his fourth-division side conceding a winner. He was chased out of the stadium and his club later expelled.

WARNER BOTHERS: Aussie cricketer David Warner

Dropped from the Baggy Green after he punched England’s Joe Root in a nightclub. Seemingly in a row over a green-and-gold fake beard.

SINK ‘EM AND SWIM: Nicklas Bendtner

Arrested in Copenhagen for driving into oncoming traffic while drunk. Arrested in London after his party broke a swimming pool door.

YOU’RE A FAKE, BABY: Ronaiah Tuiasosopo

The man seemingly behind college footballer Manti Te’o hoax dead girlfriend. But who really knows?

ROYALS FLUSHS: Sreesanth, Ajit Chandila and Ankeet Chavan

Three Rajasthan Royals bowlers arrested by the Delhi police for spot-fixing in IPL matches. A few cheap runs is allegedly worth up to €80,000 an over.

BRAINLESS DRAIN: England cricketers

Several of them celebrated drawing this summer’s fifth Ashes test by slashing outside The Oval off-stump after a few beers.

NEW BALLS PLEASE: Daudi Kajembe

Youth coach banned for life for squeezing a referee’s testicles after a game. Ref Martin Wekesa claims he is now impotent and is suing the Kenya FF for €180,000.

FOAL PLAY: Barry Rogerson

Newcastle fan jailed for 12 months after punching a police horse following defeat by Sunderland. Rogerson claimed the horse had started it.

GUNNING FOR GLORY: West Fargo Youth Hockey Association

Less than a month after the Newtown high school shooting, this North Dakota town announced its new fundraising idea — a raffle of 200 semi-automatic guns and assault rifles. It hoped to raise $90,000.

NOT ENOUGH SHOTS: Zagreb Precko coach Josip Gaspar

Sacked for stealing one of his player’s credit cards to buy 36 bottles of Jägermeister.

PISS-TAKE: Cassville High School girl’s basketball team

Accused of pouring cups of their urine into the water cooler of rivals Monett High.


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