I rang the Guards there and repeated your question, just as you asked it. The female guard said, I’m livid, I’m from Scartaglin. I said, I hear you, I’d be livid too if I was from Scartaglin. (She gave me a fine.)
My friend was diagnosed positive yesterday, East Cork. I said, would you let this guy lick you for money? She said, depends, any chance I’d catch something off him? I said, acute entitlement. She said, I didn’t realise he’s from Ballintemple. #EntitledTheLotOfThem
I rang my art critic friend there, Pretentious Pronsias. I said, how much would a limerick fetch on the open market. He said, about a 100 quid. I said, but it’s a work of art! He said, I thought you were talking about the city.
My Norry niece is a beekeeper because she didn’t even get the points for Arts. I rang her there and said, is there any way to tell if a bee is from the northside? She said, the Norry ones will be smaller. I said, really? She said, absolutely, sure everyone knows the biggest B’s in Cork live on the southside. #ThinkSheMeantBeeatches