Dream analysis: Her death was a mistake and she was alive again 

Our psychoanalyst examines the deeper meaning of your dreams
Dream analysis: Her death was a mistake and she was alive again 

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My mam passed away suddenly and unexpectedly over 12 years ago. About two years later, I started having this dream where her death was a mistake and she was alive again. In the dream, I’m having lovely conversations with her. I say something like: 'Isn't just brilliant that you’re alive again. What was it like being dead?'. I always had a lovely positive feeling for days after having these dreams, which might occur eight to nine times a year. A year ago, about three months after my dad died suddenly, I had a dream that my mother was dying. I was extremely upset and begged her not to die. I had an uneasy feeling for a few days afterwards. Last week, I had another upsetting dream. My mam was dying once again. Her GP was trying to explain how her death the first time was a mistake, and what led to her grave being opened and being found alive. But this time it was different. He told me to get into the bed with her and he took us on an adventure - to a beach near where we lived. But my mam didn't die. I've been going through an extremely stressful work-related issue since January 2020, and I’ve said many times that I’m so glad my parents aren’t alive to witness the torture I’m going through. 

Despite what the dreamer says about being glad her parents aren’t alive to witness the torture she’s going through over a work-related issue, I think she’s really missing the support they offered her. 

This woman has had two terrible shocks from their unexpected sudden deaths. Her dreams have helped her cope with the lonely work of mourning by enabling her to carry on conversations, particularly with her mother. And after the second blow of her father’s death, it was time to face up to the reality of death by letting go of her mother as well. 

Last week’s dream is a further attempt by the unconscious to help her accept death's finality and endure those painful feelings of abandonment. The GP lays it on the line: this time her mother has to die. He brings the dreamer and her mother on an adventure to a beach near where they live, presumably a place where they made many happy memories. But it is also a liminal space where the land meets the sea and, in mythological terms, from where the dead set sail into the west. In Irish mythology, they depart from the Beara peninsula.

My thoughts are that this dreamer can honour her mother’s supportive spirit by seeking professional help with her heartfelt feelings of grief. She’ll also be able to discuss her work-related issue and find a way forward out of the pain she’s been suffering.

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