Boy, have I got a Christmas gift for you girl

NO matter how many dumper-trucks you buy your three-year-old daughter; no matter how many dolls or fluffy pandas you put under your son’s pillow at night, no matter the extent of gender-defying activities you choose for your children – there remains one universal law of nature no amount of uber-liberal parenting can transcend: boys and girls are different.

Boys like to fight and fart in unison and shoot guns and crash cars and make spit-balls and get covered in mud. Girls just love to chat with their pals and go on Facebook and cuddle little puppies and dress their Barbie dolls and sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ and show off their latest designer shoes.

Despite more than 40 years of trenchant feminism, almost one million years of he-she conditioning still rules.

Take, for instance, the latest list of must-have toys for Christmas. According to Smyths Toys, girls will go mad for Three Fur Real Go Go Pups who scamper along on their remote-controlled leads. – “Oh, they are so cute!”

Girls will adore the puppy you can take for a walk, without him pooping on the pavement. As the blurb goes: “While you two are out exploring together, he’ll make barking sounds and wag his tail to show you how much he’s enjoying himself. Use the remote control leash to guide your friend wherever you want to go and just see where your adventures take you!”

On the other hand, boys couldn’t care less if those pups drown in their own battery fluid. They are too busy causing murder and mayhem with a fully automated Nerf N-strike Stampede, the kind of hardware that would give Steven Seagal nosebleeds – “Die, you SOB, die.”

Boys will just delight in the biggest Nerf gun yet. The fully automatic Stampede blaster includes “attachable blast shield, three 18 dart clips, one six dart clip, pop out bi-pod and 60 darts... the latest addition from Nerf will have wannabe soldiers launching an all-out assault.

Note to parents: ignore this boy/girl difference at your peril.

PS: It’s 87 days to Christmas.


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