Denis Lehane: Badly needed rest after the Ploughing

This week, I was all geared up to write about the Ploughing, but then something far more exciting happened to me, and now I’ve no interest at all in the Ploughing.

Tis old news as far as I’m concerned.

Last Friday, September 23, was my birthday. And by way of showing her appreciation for all the hard work I perform during the year, my missus gave me a most wonderful present, the likes of which I had never received before. It thrilled me no end.

But before I reveal all, I would just like to remind readers that my birthday only occurs once a year.

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias has the same birthday.

While Julio, I presume, had a wheelbarrow full of birthday cards to sift through on September 23, I received only one card from a kindly reader, and there was another birthday wish from a lovely lady residing in Co Kerry, by way of the internet.

I’m not saying I was disappointed with the overall haul of birthday wishes this year.

All I’m saying is that two, you have to admit, was a bit on the slack side, especially when you consider how popular I am.

Indeed my total is back a third on last year’s haul.

So clearly a greater effort needs to be made on the birthday card front, remember, I won’t be around forever.

Anyhow, going back to my missus and her birthday gift, she presented it to me in bed early on the Friday morning.

“Here you are now,” says she, “feast your eyes on this!”

And before I had time to say “Janey Mac” or anything at all, she had a new pair of pyjamas hoisted on the bed in front of me. “Well, go on,” says she, “try them on”. And even though I was worn out from the Ploughing on the previous day, I did just that.

Well, in all my life I have never slid into anything more comfortable.

Twas like heaven entirely.

What they were made from I did not know. It could have been sheep, goat, or even camel. All I do know is that, with regards to comfort, it feels like no other pyjamas I have ever owned, it’s a Mercedes of a pyjamas.

And to make matters all the better, to compliment the pyjamas, she also presented me with a pair of slipper socks.

Before you get too excited in wanting to know all about them, let me tell you that with these babies on your feet, you will never want to wear shoes or wellingtons again.

They are socks that can double up as slippers, or vice versa.

Between the pyjamas and the slipper socks, I was truly in heaven.

And, of course, in such comfort, all thoughts of the Ploughing evaporated from my head.

And I wouldn’t mind, but we had a wonderful time up in Tullamore.

We met a whole host of people, including Marty, and Hector, and Miriam. After that, is it any wonder I stayed in bed on Friday and for the remainder of the week?

Bar going downstairs at meal times and heading to mass on Sunday, it’s been bed all the way for with me for the past week, and I covered in comfort from head to toe.

And for those wondering how the farm is coping with me purring up here like a cat, well no neighbour has called yet, so I can only presume that all is as rosy outside as I am here in bed.

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