Denis Lehane: Relax, it's only the Leaving Cert
Some of us are a long way from the world of rocket science, but we get by just as happy, or happier maybe, in many cases, writes our Auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up.
I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat after having a dream (a nightmare really) that I need to resit my Leaving Cert.
Yerra, once was enough to go through with the torture.
Anyhow, I had a dream recently that I needed to repeat my Geography exam.
I never liked Geography, for I never understood why I had to know what river flowed into the likes of Leitrim.
Sure, that was only something the people of Leitrim needed to be aware of, and they probably don't really need to know its name either.
Regardless, in my dream, after looking at my geography exam paper the way a bullock might look at a punctured football, I concluded that I knew nothing about the damn thing.
But alas, by that stage it was too late, I was awake.
I had gotten befuddled, and it took some time of turning and twisting, and thoughts of cosy open fires, before I managed to get back into the snoozing regime again.
And honestly, I don't know why the likes of me still gets bothered about exams, for I never really got too bothered about them in the first place.
Back in my day, in the 80s, the Leaving Cert in Ireland, for most of us, was about as relevant and necessary as a pair of flip-flops.
We didn't need it.
The boat timetable to England was a far more sought-after piece of paper.
And in all my time since my Leaving Cert days, nobody has ever been too anxious, or even curious, to see how I got on.
For instance, when I started working in Bandon Mart as a calf drover, the manager at the time, Pat McCarthy, didn't need to see my Leaving Cert before offering me my role.
He never once remarked, "Oh, Denny boy, I see you truly have problems with Geography, can you tell me what river flows into Leitrim?"
The man couldn't care less, so long as I knew which way to turn a calf in order to move him along.
And later on, when I worked for a butcher in Macroom, and on a building site in London, my Leaving Cert was about as necessary as a dickie bow.
In a nutshell, I have gone through life, happily for the most part, without ever having to consult the document.
But alas, for today's generation of students (and I have two daughters sitting exams this week), success in exams like the Junior Cert and Leaving Cert has taken on an importance that far outweighs their actual relevance, in the grander scheme of things.
Getting a good result in an exam has always been a great thing.
But not everyone in life is, or can be, Stephen Hawking. And thank God for that.
Some of us are a long way from the world of rocket science, but we get by just as happy, or happier maybe, in many cases.
For we have seen that in life, there is more to getting on in the world than simply presenting someone with a sheet that contains high grades.
We know that there is a place in this wonderful world, not only for all creatures great and small, but for all of us too.
