A jealous husband told jurors in England he cut off the head of his wife of 30 years and flushed it down the toilet because she "betrayed" him by having affairs with other men.
Crane driver Dempsey Nibbs, 69, is on trial at the Old Bailey accused of murdering bubbly and vivacious meals on wheels worker Judith Nibbs, 60, at their flat in Hoxton, east London, in April 2014.
The prosecution say medical evidence indicates that Mrs Nibbs was probably unconscious when Nibbs decapitated her before smashing her skull into pieces and disposing of them in an "unspeakable" act of violence.
But Nibbs told jurors that he never meant to kill her when he went into the living room to confront her about "proof" of her infidelity in the form of a bank statement showing a transfer of money to a male friend of hers.
He said he intended to "slap her around a bit" but she died in the struggle as he hit her on the head with a metal bar he was trying to force into her mouth.
Despite not checking her pulse or breathing, he assumed she was dead as her eyes were "rolled over in her head", he said.
Cross examining, Crispin Aylett QC said: "Bearing in mind you spent a large amount of your life with this woman, the mother of your two children, with whom you spent many happy years, how do you feel?"
Nibbs said: "I feel terrible. Still, she let me down."
Mr Aylett went on: "Realising she was dead you were very angry with her? And so angry you did unspeakable things to her head."
The defendant said: "I felt that was me finished. I'm dead as well. She betrayed me. I'm dead anyway."
Nibbs dismissed a doctor's evidence that Mrs Nibbs had been alive at the time, saying: "That's his opinion."
Mr Aylett said: "I'm going to suggest from the time you decided to confront Judith, the time you went into the living room where she was minding her own business on the phone to her friend, you were intent on killing her.
"In the end you chopped her head off and smashed it up and flushed it down the lavatory because you felt she betrayed you."
Nibbs replied: "She did betray me. When she died that was me finished. Me, myself I'm dead because I did not see a way out for me. I cut her head off because I'm finished, I'm dead.
"I feel terrible about the whole incident because she died. I'm a 69-year-old man. What did I get myself into this fix for?"
Mr Aylett pressed: "Are you thinking about yourself or what you did to Judith? What about Judith herself, 60 years old, vibrant?"
Nibbs said: "She was going to leave me anyway, so what can I say?"
The defendant, of the Charles Estate, in Hoxton, denies murder and obstructing the coroner from holding an inquest in the violent death of Judith Nibbs by disposing of her decapitated head. The trial continues.