Having heard that PwC were to receive a world-class fee of €450,000 to tell us why the cost of the world-class National Children’s Hospital went from €450,000 to over €1,730,000,000, I decided to get out my trusty old slide rule and submit a cost-effective alternative report to the government.
Firstly, a simple projection of current timing and cost increases will bring the final figure to around €5,650,000,000 by the time it opens in 2035, still good value for a world class hospital, our world-class government would say.
Secondly, the genesis for this world-class fiasco way back was based on our national inferiority complex which drove our politicians and medics to create a futuristic world class vanity project, second to none on a global scale, irrespective of the cost to the taxpayer.
Though jammed into the most unsuitable and inaccessible site in the country, this monstrosity would massage the egos of all those involved, leaving the sick children and their long-suffering parents waiting indefinitely.
Thirdly, it is self-evident that all parents and their sick children ever wished for was a functional and efficient hospital, easily accessible in times of emergency.
Finally, nobody will be held accountable as this world-class cock- up was due to a systems failure. However, if those crazy Brexiteers would move over, then there might eventually be a special place in hell for all those world-class fools who got us into this embarrassing and costly mess.
My fee for this in-depth and concise report is €15.