We always knew Louis van Gaal would be an entertaining addition to the Premier League, but he outdid himself at the Manchester United award ceremony last night.
The Dutchman was invited to take the stage at the end of the night and the resulting eight minute speech will go down in history.
Imagine Al Pacino’s inch by inch speech from Any Given Sunday recited after industrial quantities of red wine.
Van Gaal knows what he’s about when it comes to a rousing speech, starting slowly and building to a fist-pumping crescendo.
He got in a nod to the fans: “I came in the stadium of Old Trafford, 10 matches, 13 points and I came in and I saw by myself how I have to behave myself and then the public are applauding, standing up and I thought how is it possible that the fans are supporting me?”.
Club captain Wayne Rooney got a mention: “At that time we have 50 points and then Rooney sat in the dressing room we go for the second place, he said that! Then six games in a row we win and then we go to Chelsea”.
Everyone who’s ever tried to tell a story in the pub will understand his frustration when he thought he was losing the crowd.
“Then we go to Chelsea” he said. “You remember away game against Chelsea? No, no, no, you have to listen. I ask you to listen.”
And anyone who’s ever listened to a story being told in the pub will recognise the random non sequiturs: “But tonight I was a little bit disappointed and I shall say why. I have seen a lady who plays the saxophone fantastically. Give her big applause!”.
An instant classic, the eight minute speech went down a storm on social media.
LVG for Labour leader. Imagine PMQ's v Cameron. Be worth more than the Premier League rights!— Gary Neville (@GNev2) May 20, 2015
@JamieJackson___ Possibly one of the strangest speeches I've EVER heard. No one can doubt his passion, but my, the man is bonkers— Phil Harman (@phil_harman) May 19, 2015
The after-party is gonna be BANGIN' pic.twitter.com/JMDbI6UpXD— Fιɳσ (@Fino76) May 19, 2015
Even Liverpool fans are impressed.
I can't sleep thinking about this LVG speech if anyone has the full speech send me it! I love that man!!— Jamie Carragher (@Carra23) May 19, 2015
Louis van Gaal ladies and gentlemen. Let’s hope he stays in the Premier League to delight us all for years to come.
Maybe someone should go round with a rasher sandwich and some painkillers - we have a feeling he is suffering this morning.