Celebrity psychic Inbaal predicts the top-four, as well as the fate of everybody else.
Reckon you’re pretty good at predicting what is going to happen in the Premier League each year? Well, now is your chance to see if your fortune-telling skills match up to a professional’s.
Celebrity psychic Inbaal, who has previously predicted everything from game show winners to horse races, has revealed who she thinks will do well this season.
After laying out a full pack of tarot cards from the Thoth deck, Inbaal took out a single card per team and asked how their season would go. First off, here is who she saw finishing in the top four.
Inbaal said that despite a less-than-ideal attitude, the Gunners will make it work this season.
“The Four of Cups shows me that they’re not even trying so hard,” she said. “They’re quite confident and this confidence will be the secret to their success.
“The fact that the number 4 is right there on the card makes me believe it’s one of the top 4… but very possibly the 4th overall.”
So there you go, starting off with a prediction many people have probably made…
The Hermit card depicts a quiet, wise and lonely character, which means United don’t want to be friends with anyone, Inbaal said. And with Jose Mourinho in charge, that’s easy to believe.
“They don’t want celebrities,” she said. “They want hard graft and they want to play football. I feel that they will do well.”
According to Inbaal, the Star card means “hopes and wishes coming true” for Tottenham.
She said: “I feel that there’s a lot of success there, lots of support from the players’ families and fans, and investment in keeping the current side happy, not bringing in usurpers.”
Tell Danny Rose that…
Chelsea got the Lust card, which literally holds a cup aloft, possibly either signalling the league or the Cup – but showing a passion for winning, according to Inbaal.
“They like to taste blood!” she said, worryingly. “They’ll be shameless on and off the pitch, and will demonstrate a thirst for the title.”
Disappointed that your team isn’t in the top four? Well, here are the cards Inbaal drew for the other clubs in the top flight this season, and her predictions for what they’ll translate to on the pitch. Sorry in advance, Stoke fans.
“The 5 of Wands signifies a hard year for Bournemouth,” Inbaal said.
“They’ll work hard but their heart’s not in it. They don’t believe they can do well, and that is their undoing.”
The Hierophant card in the Tarot is very mature, very grown up, and showed Inbaal that Brighton have a plan.
She said: “They’ll have a build-up, start slow and then work up a strategy. They will do well, better than expected!”
According to Inbaal, the Queen of Swords shows gumption and brains, but no consideration for the adversary. She said the Clarets will approach each game with their usual flair “but they won’t modify their style for each match, and will therefore be easy to conquer.”
Burnley and flair? Eh?
The cards showed Inbaal that Palace could well climb into the top half of the table. She said: “The Magus card tells of a team that juggles everything.
“They’ll use all their players to their best advantage, they’ll show great team efforts and some positive headlines.”
Favourite opening day? pic.twitter.com/RAEmJ9WYbN— Everton (@Everton) August 9, 2017
“The Princess of Disks shows me that they’ve got a strategy that is just far too slow and meandering and not passionate enough,” Inbaal said.
“It’s a card of money and strength, so they’ll invest in good people, great perks for the team, but there’s no hunger there, they have nothing to lose.
“They’ll finish well, but with a slow start, it won’t have the makings of a top four.”
Inbaal reckons the Terriers will stay up this year.
“The 6 of Wands card tells me that plucky little Hudds, my local team, just want to stay out of the relegation spots really!” she said. “I feel that a few stars will carry this team to the finish.”
An average season awaits the Foxes, Inbaal said, as “the 9 of Wands tells me that Leicester feel confident, but they have no new strategies, no tricks up their sleeve…”
According to Inbaal, the 3 of Disks is one of the dullest cards in the pack – something generally not associated with Liverpool’s football.
“It tells me that Liverpool will just do their thing. They’ll work hard and sign some good talent, but nothing will be interesting. They don’t want to mix things up if they work well.”
The 7 of Cups tells of pies in the sky – “dreams that do not become reality,” Inbaal said. “I feel that City will just suffer a run of bad luck, and this may well keep them from reaching the top!”
She added: “I see injuries and scandals, which upsets morale.”
Inbaal said: “The 2 of Swords is a card of planning and strategy, calm and collected – they have a nice season, a fun season, and the club doesn’t try to overreach.”
Will they remain in the league? “They’ll be happy to just stay up,” Inbaal said. “Which they do.”
Inbaal drew The Sun for Southampton, which is a bright and happy card – and Inbaal said this shows that Southampton see themselves as the unexpected superstars.
“This sunny attitude will help them get a lovely result for the end of the season, and enjoy every step of the way to get there,” she added.
One to keep an eye on…
It’s not looking good for Stoke, as they drew the 7 of Swords.
“I don’t want to get any hate mail but Stoke just have a terrible season,”said Inbaal. “I feel that every calculation they make is incorrect. Every plan they have ends up backfiring.
“I feel that they will finish a few games with 10 players, it just all goes very poorly for them, unfortunately.”
The 6 of Cups is a joyous, uplifting card, which Inbaal said shows Swansea will be “quite pleased with where they get to, and they’re happy to keep away from relegation.”
But she added that there could be some unflattering stories in the papers about their stars. Oo-er…
“The 2 of Cups shows that this club runs on love, not points,” said Inbaal. “They’re so happy to be doing what they’re doing, they love their supporters and they want to do them proud.
“They’re not table-toppers but they manage to keep their head above water.”
The Baggies can expect a mid-table season. The 4 of Swords is a calm card, so there will be no surprises. “They break even – investing back into the club what they earn as they play,” said Inbaal.
Inbaal said: “The 10 of Disks is a wealth card – the club brings in new investments, they try to buy all the right stuff.
“But it only helps them climb up one spot in the table.”
So there you have it – who knew the clubs had so much personality?