What do you do when the phone rings and the guy at the other end says he’s POTUS calling to arrange a game of golf? writes Catherine Shanahan in the Irish Examiner
Do you ask if it’s a prank call knowing that if it isn’t, such impertinence could spark an international incident? Like Trump dropping a rock barrier around the entire Irish coastline?
You consider telling him about the stress fracture in your rib but it’s hard to go against the flow of his one-way conversation: “You are a terrific guy.
You are doing amazing work which is visible in every way. I would very much like, bigly, if you could play a round with me tomorrow.
“ Golfers are special people. They helped me pick my administration. My director of social media was a caddy at one of my awesome clubs.
“You are a beautiful person. I know all 30 of your ribs are broken. At least that’s what Fox News reported. But they are FAKE NEWS. Because everyone knows there are 32 ribs in the human body.
“What do you say, big boy? You are a terrific guy. I think you might be almost as good at golf as me. Although I am world number one and you are only world number three. Because golf and politics are the same thing. They are for special bigly wealthy people. I recognise like 100% of you. You are a special person.”
Or words to that effect.
As the POTUS babble continues you recognise this offer for what it is: The opportunity of a lifetime. You grab the bull by the horns and to hell with the Twitterati.
A media platform called No Laying Up posts a pic of you with The Donald and two other American hotshots, and Twitter lights up.
“That will lose him a few friends #puppet #muppet,” states one tweet. “I dunno — Ernie Els played with him last week — positive signs for the rib injury,” says another.
Another wag tweets: “Make Rory tall again.” Someone asks: “Did this happen in Sweden? Something happened in Sweden apparently.”
Rory McIlroy himself told the website No Laying Up: “He [Trump] probably shot around 80. He’s a decent player for a guy in his 70s!”
The picture was posted by Clear Sports, and shows former New York Yankee Paul O’Neill and Clear Sports chief executive Garry Singer, although Rory confirmed to No Laying Up that they were not a part of the grouping. The four ball was rounded out by Kildareman Nick Mullen from ISM, and Rich Levine, a friend of Trump’s.
Last night a spokeswoman for McIlroy confirmed the picture posted on Twitter was not fake.
“If you’re talking about the one taken yesterday then yes, it’s real,” she said, adding that they would not comment further.
This story first appeared in the Irish Examiner