Sex advice: Should I worry about height difference?

Sex advice: Should I worry about height difference?

Should I worry about height difference?

I’m 6ft 7in and have recently started a relationship with a fantastic woman. She is 5ft 2in. The height difference means that the least awkward sex position is with her on top, which is wonderful. But, although she has not complained, I have started to feel guilty about her doing all the work.

When your fantastic, petite new girlfriend saw your frame blocking out the sunlight she probably made several rapid calculations. As she estimated the 17in height gap, she would have realised that unless she climbed on a chair you would have to lean down to kiss her. She would have surmised that, all parts being proportionate, sex might prove a little challenging, but it might equally be exceptional. With those odds, she was prepared to give it a try. If things went well, she needed never question your capacity to carry her across any threshold. And last, but not least, if you were to procreate, she could be pretty confident that her children would gain the benefit of your height.

If you ask whether the height of your hypothetical children played any part in her decision she will laugh and dismiss the suggestion. However, height is significant in most people’s choice of partner.

Research suggests that heterosexual women who are of average height consistently choose male partners who are a little taller than them, and heterosexual men of average height choose female partners who are a little smaller.

The ‘ideal’ height of a partner is largely determined by your own, but in a recent study, men said that the ideal height for a female partner was 5ft 6in, while women said that 5ft 11in was the ideal height for a male partner. So far, so average, but what about the outliers?

In 2003 Boguslaw Pawlowski at the University of Wroclaw looked at the preferences of men who were tall and found that they, like you, chose female partners who were significantly shorter than them. The inverse was true for women. One reason is that when you are at the extreme end of any scale there are fewer of you, so unless you extend your acceptable range you severely limit the pool of potential partners. However — and this is the interesting bit — Pawlowski says that because “the adult height of offspring tends to correlate with the mid-parental height”, choosing a partner that compensates for your height extreme ensures that your children end up somewhere in the middle.

Offspring aside, when a very short woman has sex with a very tall man in the missionary position, her eyes meet his nipples and his eyes meet the headboard, which is not very romantic. In contrast, when the woman goes on top they can kiss and make eye and full-body contact. If you’d like to try some other positions that minimise or take advantage of your height difference, try spoons where you snuggle your body behind hers. If you want to emphasise the power difference between the two of you, lift her up so that she can wrap her legs around your waist and have sex in a standing position or lying face to face.

Finally, you could try a position where she lies down (you’ll need to experiment to find what works with your height) and you stand.

Send your queries to suzigodson@mac.com

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