This is what non-parents are thinking when surrounded by children during the summer holidays

This is what non-parents are thinking when surrounded by children during the summer holidays

While that little one might be the apple of your eye, an angel in the making and as good as gold (most of the time), the chances are, for those without kids, that child is going to prove a nuisance at some point or other.

There’s something about summer – blame the heat – that often brings out the worst in families. And the unwritten rule book of how to be considerate to others gets tossed out the window, like toys out of a pram.

And on the subject of prams, how is it that those wielding them seem to be on a mission to mow you down at all times? God forbid you should be within a flip-flop of their thundering wheels.

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So for all those mums and dads out there about to pack their entourage off to sunnier climes, the local lido or park, here’s what the rest of us might be thinking…

Please don’t block the pavement

It’s so annoying when families all hold hands and walk along in a row, blocking the entire path. We’ve got places to go too you know.

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It’s not cute to let your kid stand on the bus or train seat

Some of us are trying to keep our white summer dresses grubby-mark-free, thanks. And while we’re on the topic of seats, kids shouldn’t get a free pass – just because they have little legs doesn’t mean they’re entitled to hog a seat when someone in their later years is struggling to stand.

Save the ball games for a private pool party

Families who play ball games in public swimming pools across the width of the entire pool are infuriating. No, we don’t want to have to keep ducking every time the ball goes astray.

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Can you at least try to stop them from screaming?

They’re so LOUD. Kids can be cute, but not when they’re having a temper tantrum. And while we might be feeling sorry for the parents, if we have to witness another meltdown over a dropped ice cream/refused donkey ride/sibling spat over who gets the bodyboard first, we’re going to throw a strop too.

Can’t you keep your children under control?

We’re trying to eat lunch/shop/drink our cool white wine in peace – why are you letting your sprogs run wild in my grown-up space?

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Where’s the nearest adult only/18+ watering hole (pub, restaurant or hotel)

No one wants to see children in a pub. End of.

Why didn’t you get a babysitter?

Causing chaos at barbecues and summer parties (what did you think was going to happen when you fed them so much ice cream?) – if you had to bring them, why couldn’t they be in a quiet corner with a tablet/colouring book?

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Why in the world are you travelling with a baby on a plane?

Child free flights would be a wonderful thing we’d be happy to pay a premium for.

- Press Association

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