Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has won millions of followers for her carefully curated Instagram feed – 120m to be precise. However, one person who isn’t a huge fan of her often quite revealing snaps is her husband, rapper Kanye West.
Kardashian went on The Ellen Show and told host Ellen DeGeneres: “You can get trouble with your husband sometimes over too many photos like that,” referring to a picture she posted of her doing some baking in a bikini. She added: “He always wants me to be me and feel confident and we’re having fun, but it also bothers him.”
The 38-year-old describes how she posts raunchier pictures when she’s feeling good about herself, which leads to West getting upset, so her posts become more conservative – and so the cycle in their relationship continues.
We think that sounds a bit like jealousy, which isn’t an uncommon factor in many people’s partnerships. So we spoke to relationship expert Kate Mansfield to get the low-down on how couples should deal with it.
For Mansfield, the most important thing in any relationship is to establish boundaries from the beginning. “What are your acceptable rules as a couple, especially for social media, is essential and most couples don’t ever talk about this until it’s too late,” she says.
“We have to consider our partners feelings and compromise in relationships, and finding out what is hurtful to your other half is great information.”
I wish some people would take their anger&jealousy to a therapist who can help them deal with it rather than projecting their pain to others— Louisa Rodriguez (@LRodriguezUK) March 12, 2014
Jealousy is a normal human emotion, but it’s important to recognise when it’s become more of an issue. The NHS says: “A small amount of jealousy can be good. For example, if it’s mild and well managed, it can help a couple to appreciate each other and add to the passion of a relationship.” However, if it’s extreme, it can damage relationships and your health.
Mansfield says: “If someone has a jealousy problem, they may need help to fix this with a professional, as jealousy is always a sign of insecurity in that person.”
Talking through why you feel these emotions with a counsellor or therapist can help you to be more objective when you’re in a situation where jealousy flares up.
Jealousy in a relationship is not always a bad thing, just make sure you communicate it respectfully and grow from it.— Relationship World (@RelationshipWo4) November 18, 2018
Talking to your partner is healthy for any relationship, and discussing feelings of jealousy should be a part of this. For Mansfield, getting these emotions out in the open can help you find balance.
She explains: “We have to find a middle ground – not being so extreme as to hurt feelings, but also not changing who we are, or trying to change the other person to fit around our own insecurities. It’s all about balance!”
If you are the one in your relationship who is prone to jealousy, it’s important not to let your emotions run away from you when talking about these issues, and not to blame your partner – this could have a negative impact on your relationship, and will make it harder to find a middle ground.
- Press Association