“Style,” says fashion doyen Rachel Zoe, “is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”
We really hope this isn’t true, because if it is, some of us are sending some very mixed messages. Fashion is a famously fickle beast – what’s hot today is not tomorrow – and often the uninitiated prefer to stick to the old reliables, and just look bad all the time.
Here’s a few things you’ll understand if you absolutely no sense of style…
Comfort is more important than looks
Look at the so-called ‘stylish’ people – tottering down cobbled streets in six-inch heels, ironing their shirts before going to the pub, donning their new, ultra-chic cardigans even though it’s 35 degrees…
You may be dressed in ill-fitting hand-me-downs, but you’re comfortable, temperate, and frankly pretty smug.
You have two pairs of jeans on rotation
One of them is grey, the other is slightly darker grey. In fact, given that a lot of manufacturers advocate washing your jeans as little as possible, we’re not sure why you even bother switching them round.
You tried livening things up once, and the photos must be destroyed
Apparently turquoise isn’t your colour, and trilbies are for Justin Timberlake and Justin Timberlake alone.
The whole concept of fashion is confusing
If double denim looked good in the Nineties, surely it should still look good in 2019? It didn’t and it doesn’t.
People always feel the need to have an opinion
Apparently we need to ‘develop our own unique sense of style.’
“No, no, like this.”
You have one nice outfit that you use again and again
You know it’s a nice outfit because people have told you it’s a nice outfit, and wearing it is therefore risk-free.
If it’s not broke, don’t change it – ever.
You save SO much money
You could step out in an oversized Balenciaga polo shirt, and an imported pair of Yeezys. Or you could spend an hour in H&M, and preserve your life savings for literally anything else.
You pretend to be more self-aware than you are
Yep, of course I’m wearing this flat cap ironically.
(Note to self: burn flat cap)
Dress codes can be impossible to fathom
No, I don’t know what ‘Brooklyn formal’ means, and I’m 99% sure I don’t own anything ‘coastal chic’.
Clothes shopping is terrifying
The amount of choice in clothes shops is cripplingly anxiety-inducing, and even the mirrors seem to be judging you.
You have definitely bought something in the wrong size to avoid the shame of returning to the changing rooms with the same item.
Fundamentally, you just can’t quite be bothered
If you tried, you probably could understand fashion, but is it worth the hassle?
Why waste time on the one part of the world that, with the exception of mirrors, you don’t have to see?
- Press Association