Luke Skywalker was living out on the island like some class of an extreme GLAS farmer

Luke Skywalker was living out on the island like some class of an extreme GLAS farmer
Daisy Ridley as Rey, Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker in ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’, on Skellig Michael. Picture:Jonathan Olley/Lucasfilm Ltd

People often wonder where I get the time to do everything. And I often wonder about that myself.

If I’m not stuck in a mart, I’’m stuck in a bog hole.

If I’m not going to Mass, I’m down in the pub.

However, the other night, I had some free time, and the opportunity to watch a Star Wars movie, which made a pleasant change from all my toil and prayers.

I was glad I watched it, for it highlighted a farming enterprise that had remained hidden for generations.

The DVD was titled Star Wars: The Last Jed, but the name is unimportant, for they are all the same. They’re all about lasers and rocket ships, and little else.

However, Star Wars: The Last Jedi has an edge over other dreary outpourings from outer space, in that it features the beautiful Skellig Michael island off the Co Kerry coast, with great regularity, and that certainly makes a movie watchable.

I warned the family the other night, “I agree to watch the movie, so long as I am woken up when Skellig Michael appears on the screen”. And I had only dozed off when elbows were activated to alert me that Skellig Michael was on view.

And sure enough, there it was, in all its rocky glory.

Luke Skywalker was living out on the island like some class of an extreme GLAS farmer, when this young woman called to see him, to try to coax him back to outer-space.

But Luke was having none of it, for he was as happy as can be in between the rocks and the waves with, no doubt, an EU subsidy coming every now and then.

Anyhow it was here that the story got mighty interesting, from a farming perspective. You see, all of a sudden, a terrible thirst came over Luke and, instead of reaching for a can of Coke or a bottle of stout like you or I might do, he headed over a few rocks and down the side of a cliff.

If he did, the young lady followed him, and over at the cliff edge was this class of a milking cow, the likes of which I have never seen before.

With the neck of a giraffe, and an udder capable of sustaining a small army, she was a cow of a breed that no expert in Moorepark would be able to identify.

Luke Skywalker pulled on the pap, and before long, he had his bottle filled to the brim, with green coloured milk.

He drank the contents with gusto, and was much the better of it.

Clearly the milk produced by the strange cows of Skellig Michael is exceptional.

Green in colour, organic and pure to the last drop.

I don’t know about you, but I see a tremendous opportunity right here at our doorstep. If we could somehow corral the cows of Skellig Michael that appeared on Star Wars, and transport them to the mainland, I feel we could all be on to a winner.

The Skellig Michael cows that I saw on Star Wars must be Ireland’s greatest hidden treasure. They are like nothing I have seen before, and I imagine the milk they produce would be like nothing ever tasted before.

With the right backing from Ornua or some outfit like that, I believe Skellig Michael milk, butter, and indeed cheese, could take on the world.

The universe even.

For it’s a class of milk that could boldly go (as another space movie used to boast), where no milk has gone before.

More in this Section

UCC team finds way to turn slurry into cash cow for farmersUCC team finds way to turn slurry into cash cow for farmers

IFA President: Our proposals in response to the Covid-19 pandemicIFA President: Our proposals in response to the Covid-19 pandemic

It is time to support Ireland's food producersIt is time to support Ireland's food producers

2,500 farmers to get €4m for calf equipment2,500 farmers to get €4m for calf equipment


Easy and cost-effective ways you can spruce up your home. By Carol O’CallaghanStaying in is the new going out: Easy and cost-effective ways to spruce up your home

Need a funny, hopeful read? Hannah Stephenson rounds up the best.10 uplifting books to cheer you up on dark days

Esther N McCarthy put the call out to Irish crafters and grafters this week. Let's support our local makers, all of these are available onlineWish List: Supporting Irish crafters selling online

Shane Johnson takes a look (and listen) at two recent electronic full-lengths.Album reviews: Wajatta and Takeleave provide beats and pieces

More From The Irish Examiner