Nobody likes a prick, no matter how necessary it may be.
Bombarded by constant reminders of the necessity to get that prick to prevent the winter flu bug, I have seen little over the past few weeks only snap shots of the long needle, and a reminder that I will soon be feeling the pinch.
How come, in this day and age, when man can fly to the moon and back, that a pour-on for humans has not been developed?
We in farming have been using a pour-on treatment for cattle and sheep for a variety of ailments with donkey’s years. The pour-on is your only man. It has made our lives, and that of our cattle and sheep, a whole lot more pleasurable.
From roundworms, to lungworms, to eye worms, from warbles, to mites, to biting lice, there’s precious little won’t succumb to the overpowering application of the pour-on.
The simple line poured along the back kills all before it.
Cattle like mine need no longer fear the needle, so why should we?
When it comes to administering a medication to the human population, why is it that the pour-on never seems to be an option?
How much better would it be if each and every autumn, instead of a needle shoved into your arm, all we were asked to do was to toss off the geansaí and endure a pleasurable few moments as a trickle of powerful liquid runs along the spine?
What could be easier?
Just like in the animal kingdom, an instruction would have to be obeyed that we stay indoors for at least half an hour, so we don’t go outside and have the whole application washed off by the first wintry shower.
That way, we would be giving the miracle serum the chance to do its job, and us a chance perhaps to read this very paper, or do the fantastic crossword on the back.
Following the “pour-on pause”, the crush gate, the front door, the toilet, wherever it is that you desire to be, would be available to you once again, and just like the bullock, you could gallop free once more.
With little bother, with no needle in sight, I dare say the human pour-on would have few objectors.
I’m no laboratory technician, I’m not even a professor in medicine in UCC, I’m simply a farmer with a proposal.
Surely it’s not beyond the boundaries of the creative mind to conjure up a concoction that could end all our needless suffering.
To be blunt, there’s no point to the needle. It’s been around for far too long. It needs to get the high road.
And better again, unlike dealing with a bullock, where the hind leg might rise or the tail could flail, with a pour-on for humans, I dare say for the most part it would be trouble-free, with few noses needing to be caught.
And why stop with a pour-on to cover the winter bugs?
Why not create a solution that would cover winters bugs, summer sniffles, and autumn attacks of every variety, both above and below.
A virus-free future for us all must surely be in the application of a pour-on.
It would be a lot more practical, a lot less painful, and a lot more pleasurable than the current prick of a job.