The Princess Bride (5*, 5.00pm)
(1987) Uproariously funny and touchingly sweet, Rob Reiner’s irreverent fairytale fantasy is based on the William Goldman novel of the same name.
The Princess Bride unfolds as a bedtime story told by an old man (Peter Falk) to his poorly grandson (Fred Savage), in which a valiant farmhand called Wesley (Cary Elwes) battles outlaws atop the Cliffs Of Insanity and evades the razor-sharp teeth of the Rats Of Unusual Size in order to declare his love to the beautiful Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright).
The script is an embarrassment of quotable riches - “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours” – and the performances suitably tongue-in-cheek.
5 Seconds of Summer & Hozier @ R1BW (BBC3, 7pm)
The BBC’s Big Weekend gets under way at Earlham Park in Norwich today, and Greg James and Clara Amfo are on hand to introduce the acts. They begin by providing live footage of sets by Australian pop-rock outfit 5 Seconds of Summer, and Grammy-nominated Irish singer-songwriter Hozier.
The duo also give viewers a chance to catch up with performances from earlier in the day, including highlights from the Main, BBC Introducing and In New Music We Trust stages.
Stay tuned for more music from the likes of Florence + The Machine and Muse.
Eurovision Song Contest (RTE One, 8pm)
Live from Vienna, Austria, artists from 37 countries will take to the stage tonight in the 60th annual Eurovision Song Contest. [Hopefully Ireland's Molly Sterling is one of them!]
With commentary from Marty Whelan.
Presenters Mirjam Weichselbraun, Alice Tumler and Arabella Kiesbauer will guide Europe through the 60th edition. And the Green Room host will be Conchita Wurst!
The 37 countries taking part are the “Big Five” nations – UK, Spain, France, Germany and Italy; last year’s winner Austria; honorary newbie Australia; and the winning ten countries from each of the two semi finals earlier this week.
Britain’s Got Talent (TV3, 8pm)
Members of the public are given one last chance to prove their worth as entertainers in the final round of auditions.
As always, Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams are on hand to appraise their performances, but once this stage of the contest is completed, the judges must then move on to the much more demanding process of whittling down this year’s crop of contestants for the live shows.
Ant and Dec host proceedings, introducing the contenders and taking viewers backstage ahead of the nail-biting performances.
1864 (BBC4, 9pm)
The Danish historical drama may not fit neatly into BBC Four’s traditional Saturday night continental crime drama slot, but it is proving to be gripping viewing.
This week, Monrad forces a new constitution through parliament, incorporating Schleswig into the Danish kingdom, and triggering the expected declaration of war from Prussia.
With hostilities between the two nations once again at their highest, Laust and Peter meet their new comrades in arms, including the mysterious Johan, and are given a taste of the true horrors of pitched conflict.
Great Expectations (BBC2, 9.00pm)
(2012) As a boy, orphan Pip (Jeremy Irvine) has a disturbing encounter with escaped convict Magwitch (Ralph Fiennes) in the marshes close to his home.
The boy agrees to steal food for Magwitch but police eventually apprehend the suspect. Soon after, Pip is dispatched to visit the reclusive Miss Havisham (Helena Bonham Carter), who requires a playmate for her ward, Estella (Holliday Grainger). At first, he is scared of Miss Havisham, but when Pip meets Estella, fear is replaced by infatuation and he falls under her spell.
Some years later, lawyer Mr Jaggers (Robbie Coltrane) informs Pip that a mysterious benefactor has paid for the lad to become a gentleman. Pip slowly gains a foothold in London society, where he crosses paths once again with Estella and cannot conceal his feelings for her.
Apocalypse Now (ITV4, 9.00pm)
(1979) Adapted from Joseph Conrad’s novel Heart Of Darkness, Apocalypse Now blitzkriegs the screen with the emotional trauma of war.
Martin Sheen plays Captain Willard, sent upriver into Cambodia during the Vietnam War with an official directive to assassinate an AWOL military man, Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando).
Francis Ford Coppola’s adaptation is a trippily terrifying portrait of hell in Vietnam, topped off by startling images, real corpses, turns of devastating power and a genuine sense of danger resulting in one of the darkest movies you will ever see. “I love the smell of napalm in the morning...”
Savages (Channel 4, 11.10pm)
(2012) Ben (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and his buddy Chon (Taylor Kitsch) make a small fortune by growing marijuana in their southern California town. Life is good and the two friends are both obsessed with Ophelia (Blake Lively), who showers them with affection.
Then the Mexican Baja Cartel, run by Elena (Salma Hayek), swaggers into town and forcefully suggests Ben and Chon share the secrets of their lucrative business model. Corrupt DEA agent Dennis (John Travolta) urges the duo to agree but Ben and Chon decide to continue their low-key operation alone, incurring wrath of the cartel.
When Elena ups the stakes by kidnapping Ophelia, Ben and Chon throw caution to the wind, determined to destroy the cartel using every resource at their disposal.