Ronan Keating still thinks Stephen Gately will call him.
The Irish singer admits he was "torn apart" when his Boyzone bandmate passed away last October from natural causes and is struggling to accept the fact he has gone.
Talking about Stephen's sudden death, Ronan said: "When my mother was diagnosed with cancer we knew she wouldn't live for very much longer. The doctors gave her three months. But when you know that a beloved person is terminally ill, you can prepare yourself for it.
"But when Steo died it tore me apart. Friday night I had talked to him and Saturday morning he was dead. I still think he will call me or suddenly stand in front of my door. I'm still numb."
While he is still coming to terms with Stephen's death, the father-of-three says losing his mother Marie to cancer in 1998 will haunt him forever.
He told Germany's OK! magazine: "My mother's death was the worst loss I have suffered in my life. And up to today I still try to get over it. Her death changed my whole life."