SUZANNE HARRINGTON

SUZANNE HARRINGTON: I’m stuck in a car with two children, but sh*t happens

THE lovely people at Penguin sent a book about the Roman philosopher, Seneca, written by a professor of classics, Emily Wilson.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Sign this 7-point contract before watching ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

BEFORE you go to see Fifty Shades of Grey, you must enter into a contract. The contract is between the film dominating cinemas everywhere, and the audience submitting two hours and five minutes of their lives which they will never get back.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Relationship where you can have it all, I’m all for LAT

Apparently my man and I are very modern. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that we are one of those new-fangled LAT couples.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Working from home with the Siberian hamsters

WORKING from home means a lot of time to stare distractedly out the window, wondering why you are here, what your purpose is, and whether your team will get out of the relegation zone before it’s too late.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Arts Council cuts funding to children’s books yet still supports animal circuses

Suzanne Harrington asks whose genius idea was it to cut children’s books while still funding animal suffering?

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Oops! We all made a boob. The Sun has not covered up its anachronistic ‘page three’

BOOBS out of The Sun! Boobs out for The Sun! Crikey, make up your mind, Rupert.

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Suzanne Harrington says anyone that promises fast results to a long term problem ishaving a laugh.

SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Self-help is no help — that’s useful knowledge

Few books in the self-help section will ever turn your life around, writes Suzanne Harrington. Real personal development requires far more time and often, professional help

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Religions are like penises: it’s acceptable to have them but not to think with them

THIS week, I learned on social media that a religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one, and fine to be proud of having one, but it’s not fine to get it out in public, especially near children. Nor is it fine to write laws with it, nor to think with it.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Only item on my 2015 ‘to do’ list is to be happy with who I am and what I have

MAYBE I’m a pervert, but I love January. Its calm gloom is like sinking into a cooling bath after the overheated mania of December.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Forget Movember, what about ’veganuary’

Whenever we do stuff like Stoptober or Movember, it’s always to benefit ourselves. Movember is all about showing your awareness of prostate cancer by sporting a great big freshly-grown moustache which gets you extra likes on Facebook, while only the most uni-cellular amongst us need the benefits of stopping smoking in Stoptober spelled out.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Single mums don’t need a ‘father Christmas’ to have fun

Suzanne Harrington writes that Christmas as a single parent isn’t necessarily the nightmare everyone believes it to be

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: A wrong present is telling you to get the right boyfriend

CHRISTMAS isn’t just about fighting with your family over reheated Brussels sprouts, nor about which one of you is the most useless — no, it is a time of giving, including giving your relationship a long, hard stare, if your other half gives you the wrong present.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: I’m fed up with complaints about public breastfeeding

YOU won’t be getting anything Christmassy out of me this week, because I’m nonplussed by the news that feeding your baby and having a wee are one and the same. 

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Black Friday. Cyber Monday. Save us from these American exports.

I was just starting to slightly get over the whole idea of Christmas – reasoning to myself in soothing tones that really, it’s not that bad, is it?

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