SUZANNE HARRINGTON

SUZANNE HARRINGTON: My rage at John Waters' dated rhetoric and old-school ignorance

IT has always struck me as a bit unseemly when people in the same profession go for each other in print or online. So I never have.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Fat chance I’ll ever be a really skinny vegan

I’m thinking of starting a blog called the Fat Vegan, except being a journalist, I can’t bear to write anything for free.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: I can’t cook up a job with my unusual talents

BEING a writer is a great way to live, but not such a great way of making a living. Unless you’re Jeffrey Archer or JK Rowling, forget it — you won’t ever be in the limited edition queue for a five-grand handbag.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Hipster beards don’t cut it with the ladies

I don't know what it’s like where you are, but it seems to be getting worse where I am. You can’t even put it down to April Fool, because it’s been going on for ages now, and growing all the time.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: St Patrick’s Day needs to get sober and get real

REGULAR readers may have noticed that last week’s column, which fell on March 17, contained no mention of the day in question.

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Clare Tully, the first Irish Page Three girl

SUZANNE HARRINGTON: I'm not a prude but I've had enough of Page Three

I’M loving this Fourth Wave of Feminism. All those years when we were told that swinging around a pole as exercise was both ironic and empowering always felt like a massive joke – on us. Raunch culture felt like a big fat lie. How could the galloping pornification of women and girls ever be empowering?

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Children grow from little lambs to teenage terrors

THERE is a line, invisible as electricity but just as shocking, that your kids will one day step over, when they move from being children to something far, far worse. Teenagers. It can happen in an instant, when a single sentence crystallises the transition, a lone throwaway remark telescopes the whole of childhood from the present to the past in the blink of an eye. Or in this case, the shake of a lamb’s tail. And that single, electrocuting sentence? “Lambs are crap.”

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: The double standards of speciesism

THE term has been around since 1970, but I’ve only recently learned how to spell it. S-p-e-c-i-e-s-i-s-m. You know, assigning different values to different creatures depending on what species they belong to.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Unequal attitudes to body hair

SO you might be lying in the bath – the last refuge of the single parent – contemplating such imponderables as the existence of atheism, or whether you will ever be a size 12 again, or even a size 14.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: My ‘rectangle of doom’ phone is far too smart

THERE are few first world problems more humiliating than being too dumb for your smartphone. There you are, minding your own business, when the phone people ring up and tell you what a good customer you are.

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Panti Bliss on stage

SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Panti, Iona, the Queen, and blatant homophobia

AS an Irish citizen, I would have waded into this whole Panti / Iona thing earlier but I live in Brighton where everyone is busy bringing up their ordinary children in ordinary same sex households and getting married to whoever they ordinarily love without further ado, and to be honest it passed me by.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: “Has online dating made us personal shoppers?”

LIKE every non-attached human under the age of one hundred who is keen to pair up with another, you are probably internet dating.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Why dogs are a single parent’s best friend

IT is a universal truth that a single parent in a chaotic household will be in want of a dog.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: It’s life at the gym, but not as we know it

PICTURE this. The changing rooms in a health club. Two ladies in expensive tennis gear, lightly sweating, zipping their racquets away. One is saying to the other: “I’m incandescent. He made an appointment with the builder to come at nine on Monday to redo the conservatory. He KNOWS I play tennis on Monday.”

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