SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Cold coffee where the sun don’t shine

Good morning. How’d you like your coffee? Long black? Flat white? Up your ass? No, this is not the greeting of a fatally hungover barista, but January health advice from that highly respected lifestyle website, Goop, writes Suzanne Harrington.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: The sweet smell of success for vegans

You know something is starting to bite when it rattles the right-wing media. 

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Ten things to know about teens

Is 2018 the year your tween becomes a teen? Suzanne Harrington shares her top tips for navigating the hormone-addled minefield. 

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Some very wishful thinking for 2018

When you’re a kid you write to Santa with your wish list, but who do you write to when you’re an adult? God? Hmmmm. No-one? Too depressing. Facebook? Pfffft.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: I’m dreaming of a bling Christmas

SO I’M all set. The decorators have just left, the ice rink is installed in the front garden.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Ireland scuppers the surreal spoof of Brexit

HERE’S a letter from Irene in Manchester, published in the free London tabloid Metro (circulation 1,475,543, owned by the pro-Brexit Daily Mail, and commonly found littering commuter train carriages).

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Nightmare of a White House Christmas

If you ever wanted to explain the word “metaphor” to a small child, show them a photo of this year’s White House Christmas decorations. 

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: The bubbles that really need bursting

When I left Ireland in the 1980s, it was because, at that time, Ireland felt like being inside a bubble where everyone looked the same, spoke the same, dressed the same, acted the same, ate the same, and thought the same says Suzanne Harrington

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Outside the Box: It’s bad behaviour to blame the homeless

What’s your biggest fear? Being eaten feet first by sharks? Spiders nesting in your ear? Being thrown off a roof by frothing maniacs?

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Bookish behaviour is all about timing

There is never a good time to write a novel, writes Suzanne Harrington

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: We should thank Harvey Weinstein for the tear in the patriarchy

We should probably thank Harvey Weinstein. That ripping sound you’re hearing might just be a tiny tear in the patriarchy. Tear as in laceration, although there are probably quite a few men crying fat salty ones for themselves in private, except the type of man who preys on people less powerful than himself for sexual gratification is probably born without tear ducts.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Educating the English about Halloween

The English don’t get Halloween. While it’s the second spendiest holiday in America after Christmas — in 2014 Americans spent six billion dollars on pumpkin spiced latte and plastic spiders — in England it is still regarded with suspicion.

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SUZANNE HARRINGTON: Phones can be used as digital pepper spray

ME TOO. You too. Her too. Us too. And probably all of them over there too as well. Grammar can suffer horribly when trying to make a point about sexual harassment. Seriously though — you too? 

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