Making sense of fixture schedule

A certain pressure lifted, for sure, but might it just have felt a hint of loneliness this morning, our old friend The Fixtures Computer, as it prepared to spit out the first Premier League schedule of the post-Fergie era? Nobody took greater interest in its work than Fergie. Nobody was better able to detect malice in its algorithms or parse a conspiracy out of its sequences.

So intrigued was Fergie with information technology’s approach to filling a calendar that, a few years back, he decided to do a man-marking job on it.

“I’m not saying what they do down there, but next year we will be sending somebody to see how it happens, I can assure you. I just don’t understand how you can get the fixtures like that.”

We don’t know if Fergie followed through on his promise, or who he sent; but you’d like to think Mike Phelan was sat somewhere nearby, in his trademark shorts, when the man from Atos Origin IT Solutions pressed the button.

Unfortunately, for the United deputation, most of the interesting stuff would have happened a long time ago, as this morning’s fixture list is almost a year in gestation.

Glenn Thompson has been the Atos operative on the gig for the past 16 years.

Over that time, Fergie’s nemesis has shrunk from a bulky mainframe that took all night to deliver to a laptop that spits out the list in 10 minutes.

But the basics remain the same, or at least the complications do.

Lots of rules. In a five-game spell, no team should have more than three home or away games.

At home on St Stephen’s Day? You must travel New Year’s Day. You should have a home game before or after an FA Cup tie, to avoid a possible run of three aways.

The police have a say. No contentious games on opening day. Careful with fixtures around other major events. The clubs, too, can get their requests in by March.

According to The Guardian, this year’s list will avoid clashes with the Nottingham Goose Fair and the Shrewsbury Flower Show.

And nobody talks about it; but Sky hardly ends up with those Super Sunday Judgment Day doubleheaders every year by accident.

Then the twinnings. United with City. Liverpool with Everton etc. Home when the other is away.

But because Premier League and Football League fixtures are created together, threesomes or more can easily mushroom.

For example, West Ham are paired with Dagenham and Redbridge, but Southend don’t want to play at home the same day as the Hammers.

A few years ago, Thompson explained to BBC how moving a West Ham fixture can send dominoes falling down the divisions. Southend can’t play at home the same time as neighbours Colchester, who, in turn, share stewards with Ipswich, so they can’t be home at the same time. Then East Anglian transport demands ensure Norwich and Ipswich can’t clash either.

No doubt Big Sam will bear all of that in mind before he thinks about having a pop this afternoon.

After all, any friend of Fergies.