by Adrian Russell, staff writer
1. Paul McGrath Award for best disappearing act: Kenny Egan
MORE used to jumping rope, boxer Egan skipped off to New York at the end of February. The Olympic silver medal winning boxer caused quite a stir as Twitter lost one of it’s biggest proponents and the social diarists were missing a once-reliable cast member. The Dubliner eventually returned after missing an Irish team tournament with the USA, apologised and has since been keeping the head down.
2 The Waldorf and Stadler Award for bickering media pundits: Pat Spillane and Joe Brolly
WE may have to give RTÉ’s GAA analysts an award each to avoid an argument. It was a summer of late tackles and dirty hits on the sofa (co-panellist Colm O’Rourke and his Meath team of the late 1980s would have applauded). Like two old fellas on high stools, the debate was fairly incoherent and trivial: which is the team of the decade, Tyrone or Kerry? It started early in the season and was concluded, with Spillane grinning, when the Kingdom regained the upper hand in September.
3 The Podge and Rodge Prize in Recognition of Tact: Clare Balding
I’M not going to stick the boot in here. But... the words ‘stones’ and ‘glasshouses’ sprang to mind after the Grand National when the BBC’s racing presenter poked fun at winning jockey Liam Treadwell’s appearance. Sticking a microphone in the poor guy’s face (at precisely the highest moment in his professional life) she demanded: “Give us a big grin to the camera. No, let’s see your teeth! He hasn’t got the best teeth in the world, but you can afford to go and get them done now if you like.” Stay classy, middle England.
4 Most Innocuous Question of the Year: Marty Morrissey
THE beloved Banner broadcaster was left mopping the spittle from his impressive pate when he casually queried Brian Cody (after the Kilkenny manager saw his side seal a four-in-a-row, let’s remember) about that final-defining penalty call.
“I have no idea Marty. Did you check all the other frees to see if they were dodgy also?” Cody spat before continuing in that poisoned vein.
“Well Marty won’t be buying the book after that,” Lyster chuckled afterwards from the comfort of behind the studio sofa.
5 Least Innocuous Question: Paul Kimmage
THE journalist and former pro rider Paul Kimmage, who already has plenty of history with Lance Armstrong (“He is the cancer”) when he asked him a question about his disgraced former colleagues. “What is it about these dopers that you seem to admire so much?” said Kimmage. Armstrong responded at length and with chilling calmness.
6 Contingency Plan of the Year: Plan B
THE national emergency plan saw half the country suffer for a fortnight under floods, sticking Leon Best up front for quarter of an hour didn’t reap rewards for Ireland against France in Dublin and going back into the jungle didn’t get Jordan back on track. However, as Croker chiefs pressed the panic button and flashed a ‘GO TO PLAN B’ message which flashed across the big screen when Kilkenny fans invaded the pitch at HQ, the phrase entered our sporting lexicon.
7 The Bill Murray Award for Losing It In Translation: Tadhg Kennelly
TO paraphrase George Bernard Shaw, Ireland and Australia are two countries divided by a common language. When Kennelly shouldered Cork’s Nicholas Murphy into the face in the All-Ireland final in September he recounted the incident in his rushed-to-shops book: “Cop that, it’s different this time boys”. It did not go down well.
8 The Frontline Heckler Award for Late Late Show performance: Donal Óg Cusack
THE Cork hurling star got stuck in on his Late Late Show appearance to promote his ‘controversial’ new book. Ryan Tubridy, who looks like he’d blow away if he stood outside the dressing-room door as a Junior B team ran out, tried his luck at talking about hurling. Cusack taught him to stick to the lounge music and book clubs.
9 Oliver Reed Award for Drunken TV Appearance: Brendan Fevola
READERS here, and pub workers in Galway especially, may remember Brendan Fevola as the Aussie Rules player who was sent home from the 2006 International Rules Series after brawling with a barman.
This year Fevola made a holy show of himself at the Brownlow Medal ceremony in Melbourne — stumbling from guest to guest with a microphone and all-too-willing cameraman as he quizzed the game’s great and good. The Carlton player has been fined 1ten grand and told to “wake up to himself”.
‘Fev’ admitted he had no recollection of the events which also led him to being axed from the Footy Show on Channel Nine.
10 The Boy George Question Award: Caster Semenya
IN August 18-year-old Semenya won gold in the 800 meteres at the world championships in Berlin. Immediately afterwards questions were raised about the South African’s gender. The row rumbles on; Semenya will be allowed to keep her medal and prize money. If not her privacy.
11 The Golden License Fee Award: RTÉ
THE national broadcaster managed to miss one of the nation’s greatest sporting achievements this year. Olive Loughnane romped home, as they say, to take a silver medal in Berlin but we had to watch Brendan Foster interview the Galway girl on BBC for us as RTÉ didn’t have the rights to the world championships.
12 The Stephen Ireland Award for Silly Vehicle Choice: Cliff Lee
PHILLIES pitcher Cliff Lee almost missed the first game of the World Series against the Yankees when he decided to take a cab uptown to the Bronx. Lee was stuck in a taxi at 5.:45pm en route from his team’s Manhattan base when the driver told him they were hopelessly stuck in traffic and it might take two more hours to get to the ballpark. Lee instructed the driver to find the nearest subway stop and negotiated two trains to make it to the mound on time.
13 The Milli Vanilli Special Mention (for claiming other’s work as your own): Noel Hunt
THE Reading striker sparked a mini-controversy when he incorrectly insisted he — and not captain Robbie Keane — scored the equaliser for Ireland against Italy in Bari in April.
14 Best Outfit: Serena Williams
THE younger Williams sister shook the cosy world of lawn tennis with a tight-fitting and cheeky “Are you looking at my titles?” t-shirt at a Wimbledon press-conference. New balls please.
15 Jedward Award for Attempted Singing: Tommy Bowe
THE Monaghan man was hung out to dry by his Ireland team-mates on Dame Street at their Grand Slam homecoming. Thinking he’d be joined by a chorus lines of championship-winning colleagues, instead they stood back and left him suffer through the Black Velvet Band alone. and in front of 17,000 fans on Dame Street.
