Opening a can of worms

The UN thinks it’s a good idea, but what do the Irish think of eating creepy crawlies, wonders Jonathan deBurca Butler.

I’ve never eaten any insects and I’ve no feckin’ intentions of startin’ now,” she says.

A REPORT by the United Nation says we are allowing good food to crawl through our fingers. Grubs and insects, such as worms, caterpillars, grasshoppers and ants are under-utilised as food.

The 200-page report, by the Food and Agricultural Organisation (FAO), published last week, says insects are “everywhere and they reproduce quickly”. It says “they leave a low environmental footprint”, while providing protein and nutrients that are “particularly important as a food supplement for undernourished children”.

The report says 2bn people use insects and grubs in their daily diet. Morpane worms (caterpillars), in South Africa, and the buffalo dung beetle, in Thailand, are considered delicacies.

But would the idea of eating insects ever fly here?

We decided to put the feelers out, taking to the streets of Dublin. On the menu were barbecue-flavoured worm crisps, Thai green curry crickets, salt and vinegar grasshoppers, and, for dessert, an orange-coloured, candy-covered scorpion, all courtesy of Harvey Nichols’ in Dundrum.

“They actually don’t look that bad, I’ll give it a go,” says Colm Kelly, from Longford, as he pops an edible worm in his mouth. “I’m still waiting for a flavour kick. They’re very light, though. They break quickly. It’s like a pastry texture; the outside of a croissant. Flavour: cheese and onion. They’re grand, like. They’re not offensive.”

Colm then eyes up a grasshopper. This ‘grub’ !still has its own eyes, but is so well-crisped that they look unreal, as if painted on, like a novelty sweet for kids. Not long ago, these fellas were hopping around the fields (well, probably a greenhouse) of southern England.

“I tend not to eat things with heads on them,” says Colm, holding the bug-eyed snack aloft.

“Try a bit of the tail,” I say.

“Okay,” says Colm. “Oh, they’re crispy. It’s kind of got a raisin thing about it. I hate raisins. So, it’s like raisins in peanut, nearly. The flavour keeps giving. ”

Students Anthony Handibode and Aisling Cassidy are not difficult to convince. “That’s curry,” says Anthony about the crickets. “It’s actually not that terrible. It’s quite dry-tasting. I was expecting goo. A friend of mine was in China and Thailand, and he was telling me he’s eaten hornets and squirrel and even cockroaches; they cook them. I wouldn’t say it would take off here, to be honest, but it’s already something big in Asia.”

Further down Grafton Street, I meet well-known street-poet, Sean Urell. He is about to publish a book of poetry, Vitamins and other Verbalicious Verses, about healthy eating for children. Can we expect ‘Ode to a Creepy Crawly’ in the new publication?

“I heard, somewhere, because of a lack of food that insects will be a source of protein and we’ll have no choice but to eat them,” says the 33-year-old. “I suppose, if I was starving to death, I wouldn’t turn them down, but, at the moment, I can still afford to buy cheap noodles and rice. I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t trust my stomach. My conscious mind would go ‘yeah, that’s good for you, try it’, but the other part would see it and scream ‘no, keep that away from me’. I’d have to go with that.”

Flower-sellers probably see all sorts of insects and greenfly, but the idea of coddling them does not appeal to one flower seller, who recoils disgustedly. “I’ve never eaten any insects and I’ve no feckin’ intentions of startin’ now,” she says. “I’m a very fussy eater. I only eat me own food.” Her assistant is more open. “Are they clean?” asks James Lee, looking at the little offerings with scepticism, but interest. “And they are edible, are they? They look appetising, alright.”

After much reassurance, he takes one. “They’re like crisps,” he says of the worms. “I expected the texture to be a bit mushier, and you would, if you think of a worm going along. Only thing is, I can’t see how these things would be viable. I mean, they are nutritious, but you’d need so many of these things to fill you up.”

So can he imagine women on Talbot Street or Moore Street shouting “Get yer wurums — two for a fiver”?

“I don’t think so,” he says.

Our final vict … eh, taste-testers ... have flown — perhaps like some of the stuff they’re about to eat — from the USA. Probably here to sample Irish stew and pints of stout, they are surprised to be approached by a man bearing such earthly gifts.

“I heard about that [UN report]. I couldn’t see myself living on a diet of insects,” says Aylssa Haak.

“Bring it on,” says her friend Caitlin Nelson. “I’ll choose a worm. Do I eat it all in one bite?”

“Divine,” she enthuses sarcastically on swallowing. “I could really see myself going into a bar and ordering a pitcher of beer and a packet of worms. Absolutely.”

It’s unlikely any of the rest of us will be ordering a pint of stout with a packet of battered butterflies any time soon, but if reports and warnings on food shortages persist, we just might have to think about spreading our dietary wings.

* We are grateful to Harvey Nichols in Dundrum Town Centre for supplying us with the products featured in this article. All products mentioned can be bought online from their edible range, at www.harveynichols.com