Verbal abuse can "slowly deaden someone from the inside out" and be just as destructive as physical abuse, domestic abuse campaigners have warned.
To coincide with St Valentine’s Day, Sonas Housing and Meath Women’s Refuge have launched a domestic violence awareness poster campaign to highlight the impact of verbal abuse.
The Killing Me Softly With His Words campaign raises awareness of verbal abuse, which entails name-calling, insults, humiliation, intimidation, threatening comments and mind-games.
Rachel Mullen, chairperson of Sonas Housing, which provides accommodation for women and children who are homeless because of domestic violence, said if a woman is experiencing physical abuse she can name what is happening and there are bruises and scars to prove it.
But with verbal abuse, because of the lack of tangible evidence, it can be harder for women to name it or to show its impact and this has a hugely debilitating effect "No one goes to the emergency department because they have been humiliated and ridiculed and it’s difficult to file a complaint to the guards to say that your partner isolates you from your friends," she said.
According to Sonas, reports show that psychological abuse, particularly ignoring and ridiculing victims, contributes to depression and low self-esteem.
Psychological abuse has also been linked to anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. "This is consistent with evidence from Sonas Housing, which shows that 35% of domestic violence victims who apply for a Sonas house experience mental health problems as a result of living in abusive situations. The stress caused by living with long-term abuse can also have long-term health consequences such as high blood pressure and asthma," Ms Mullen said.
According to Women’s Aid, one in five women experience domestic abuse in Ireland, with this figure considered to be an under-representation given the hidden nature of the issue. According to the HSE, a woman experiences at least 35 separate incidences of abuse before disclosing it.
Deirdre Murphy, manager of Meath Women’s Refuge said it is important for victims of domestic violence to recognise verbal abuse as a part of the pattern of abuse.
"Women living with controlling partners may have internalised a lot of the verbal abuse and believe they are the problem because they have been continually told that by their abusive partner," she said.
"What makes it even more difficult to recognise is that often an abusive perpetrator may quickly switch between verbally abusive and more caring behaviour which means the woman is often unsure of what to expect and continually off-balance."
The poster ads, produced with funding from Cosc, the national office on domestic and sexual violence, will be seen in public washrooms, shopping centres and community centres.
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This appeared in the printed version of the Irish Examiner Tuesday, February 14, 2012
