Shedding a light on art of male bonding

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Blanket assumptions of predestined roles to be assumed by the sexes have bedevilled the human species.

Not so long ago there was a saying doing the rounds, which would have had us believe that “real men don’t eat quiche.”

Some considered quiche to be light and unsubstantial and not worthy of the attention of real men.

It seemed to suggest — playfully or otherwise — that to be a real man meant regularly gnawing on the thigh bone of a large and meaty animal.

It’s the same kind of thinking that says women are the weaker sex, unashamedly emotional, and therefore expected to talk about their feelings whenever the opportunity arises, and sometimes when it doesn’t.

Men on the other hand, are stoic, lantern-jawed and would rather eat their own hair than talk about their feelings.

Such sweeping generalities have backed us into corners, and sometimes resulted in us assuming roles that do us no favours at all.

One of the knock-on effects has been that many men feel awkward and uncomfortable in talking about their concerns, whether they relate to emotions, health or the loss of employment.

Men are, for instance, more reluctant to consult health professionals. In turn, that’s why funding is considerably less for men’s health issues than for women.

The Irish Men’s Shed’s Association is helping to reverse the damage.

This concept doesn’t need to involve an actual shed, those havens at the bottom of the garden full of half-finished projects and tins of paint, where a man might go for a bit of me-time.

For sheds, read clubs instead — and there are 40 of them now, across the country. Their motto is “Men don’t talk face to face. They talk shoulder to shoulder.”

A Men’s Shed is any community-based, non-commercial organisation which is open to all men, where the primary activity is the provision of a safe, friendly and inclusive environment where men can gather and at the same time, work on meaningful projects at their own pace and in their own time.

The Shed’s aim is to advance the health and well-being of their members, and to date, participants have been involved in a wide range of projects — boat-building, bike-mending and furniture finishing to name but a few. Along the way, they have also enjoyed the odd game of darts and many a cup of tea, and benefited hugely from sharing their experiences.

A new Men’s Shed is about to be opened here in Bantry, under the auspices of the West Cork Development Partnership. WCDP’s Fergal Conlon (who can be contacted at fergal@wcdp.ie) welcomes this innovative addition to the area’s resources.

“I think it’s a fabulous notion, and it covers many aspects of men’s welfare. I bought the idea to our board, and they were very keen to take it up.

“There are young men who are not engaged socially with much other than Playstation, and are not working, and older men who no longer have the benefit of meeting up at the creamery or the old metheal system. And they all have skills and experiences to share. We envisage various workshops and a social centre where men can get together and learn from each other.”

The Men’s Shed’s concept was introduced from Australia in 2009 by John Evoy, a farmer’s son from Wexford, who now finds himself busy visiting Men’s Sheds up and down the country as the idea has grown in popularity. We talked about the success of the movement and its importance, particularly in rural areas.

* So John, how did you first get involved with the Men’s Shed movement?

>>I come from a farming background and that’s perhaps why I was aware of problems such as isolation in rural areas. I’d already left the farming, and I was working in a community development programme when I met Professor Barry Golden in 2009.

* Isn’t he the man who started the movement in Australia?

>>Yes, and when I heard him speak I remember thinking that this concept was so simple yet so effective. The first Men’s Shed opened in Tipperary that year and later, with Barry’s assistance, we set up a member-based organisation to share information between Sheds to help those who want to set up an organisation of their own. We represent the collective issues of Men’s Shed’s in Ireland.”

* Health seems to be a major concern of the IMSA. Why is that?

>>“Good health is based on so many factors, including feeling good about yourself, being productive and valuable to your community, connecting to friends and maintaining an active body and mind. Becoming a member of a Community Men’s Shed gives a man a safe, busy and supportive environment. Men can just come and have a cuppa and a chat, if that’s all they are looking for.”

* Is it usually men in crisis who are inclined to join?

>>No, not al all. We have lots of members who are well, and working too. I get at least two or three queries about opening new Sheds every day. And about 50% come from existing community workers and a third from women — mothers, sisters, daughters who are worried about their men becoming isolated, marginalised because of unemployment or retirement.”

* Is there a set format, a blueprint for new Sheds?

>>No, each Shed is unique. It’s the men within it who decide what the focus or their projects will be. And we always say that the most important tool in the Shed is the kettle. A lot of what goes on is to do with change in employment, lifestyles, relationships or whatever.”

* Many of the older members must be bringing skills to the table that would otherwise have been lost.

>> Very true. A lot of the older men did everything by hand. All their tools were hand tools. One of our older members in Donegal said that all they had was a saw and a plane, and they could put an edge on that plane that would have shaved you!

* So the ethos of the Sheds is focused but informal.

>> There’s definitely an emphasis on informal learning and an atmosphere of doing stuff together, having fun and creating a buzz. Each man should see himself as teacher and a learner in their individual groups. Each man brings his own skills and limitations to the group.

* Projects of various kinds seem to play an important part in this concept.

>> Yes. Men are task-oriented, and like to socialise over a project, no matter how small. If you try to get a group of men in a room talking about their issues, for instance, it can be difficult. But put them in a room where there’s, say, a broken lawn mower that needs fixing and they’ll soon be talking away.

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