Thursday, February 09, 2012
THERE are many organisations dedicated to helping cancer survivors manage the various challenges they face.
Counsellors, therapists, dietitians, home helps and of course, a wide range of medical experts constantly monitor a person’s condition.
Ann Dowley Spillane was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2010, and has had good reason to appreciate all these services. Nevertheless, she felt that for her, there was something missing. And that, she came to realise, was an organisation which focused on the fun and social side of cancer support.
You might not necessarily expect fun to be a priority for someone in Ann’s position. But then, this is a woman with a keen sense of humour, and an unquenchable joie de vivre, who has called her work-in-progress auto-biography Four Inch Heels and a Morphine Patch.
And so, the Cork Girls Club came into being, a much-needed haven for women who have survived cancer, a place to relax with family and friends, have a fun night out and get direct and common sense information on a whole range of vital services in a supportive atmosphere.
"The Girls Club isn’t a soppy, weepy sort of place," Ann tells me briskly. "Of course, women can and do cry while they are here. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s something we all simply accept. We have good days, bad days."
"What we are all about is celebrating ourselves and bringing some positivity back into our lives. The Girls Club focuses on fun — for instance, we had a topless waiters’ night recently, which might shock and surprise some people. But the club has its serious side too. It’s informative and supportive, and we have a great level of support form a wide range of skilled professionals who volunteer their services."
The Girls Club celebrates its first anniversary this month. It also offers fashion tips, hints on wearing wigs and scarves, and advice on comfortable bra fittings, Tai chi, counselling and a range of workshops.
Membership has grown to over 100, and the club boasts more than 3,000 friends on its Facebook page. It has become so successful that registered charity status is now imminent — which is just as well, because all this progress has so far been achieved solely with the help of a small army of dedicated volunteers, and donations from supporters.
Until now, the fortnightly meetings and other activities have been held in the Ambassador Hotel in Cork, but to the members’ delight, the club moves into its own premises on Paul’s Avenue — complete with pink door — on Feb 7, a special anniversary for Ann and her members.
"Some people are shocked by my approach to the cancer," Ann admits. "They don’t understand how I can make jokes about it. When you meet them in the supermarket, they get all quiet, lower their voices, pat you on the arm and say things like, ‘So dear, how are you feeling today. Aren’t you very brave, the way you carry on.’
"Which is of course ridiculous, because I feel pain and worry just like anyone. It’s just that I chose to deal with it in a different way."
"Some women who come to us can’t say the word cancer at first," Ann said. "They think that if they name it, it takes on an identity of its own. But the Girls Club is all about women coming together and feeling safe when they realise that everyone in the room is in the same position that they are. "Really, this whole idea came about because when I was first diagnosed, I felt very alone, even though I have a terrific husband and great family support.
"But all I wanted was to sit in a room and look at another woman who knew exactly how I was feeling.
"Women who are cancer survivors have their own language. We know when someone is feeling down, tired, or if they are in pain, without having to say anything, because we’ve all been there. And we can explain different aspects of the journey — because cancer is a journey — to the others from the perspective of experience. One young woman who came to us was in her 30s. She’d had breast cancer and reconstructive surgery. And in her innocence, she thought that she was going to end up with super-perfect boobs like a page three girl.
"She didn’t realise that there were so many stitches that the prosthesis was like a football. A doctor or nurse can’t tell you what that feels like. You have to go through it yourself."
Ann and her members believe in delivering such information in a clear, concise and realistic way.
They have little time for the doom and gloom merchants, preferring instead to put their energies into celebrating and living their lives as fully as possible, using friendship and humour to get their message across.
CANCER FACTS
One in three people in Ireland will develop cancer during their lifetime.
* Treatable melanoma skin cancer is the most common form of cancer.
* Cancer is increasingly viewed as a condition with which people survive. 42% of men and 50% of women diagnosed with cancer currently survive for five years and longer.
* Up to 50% of all cancers are preventable. 30% are preventable through lifestyle changes. * Smoking is the single biggest cause, causing 30% of all cancers. Reduce your risk of cancer by quitting smoking, avoiding fatty diets, eating plenty of fruit and vegetables, and exercising regularly.
* High-income countries generally have higher cancer rates than low-income ones. And while this may be partly down to better diagnosis, high-income countries also have higher rates of obesity, excessive alcohol consumption, and more sedentary lifestyles.
* Many cancers have been linked to lifestyle factors, including cancers of the mouth and larynx, lung, stomach, pancreas, liver, bowel, breast, prostate, and kidney.
More information: www.cancer.ie
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