If you’re one of those people who didn’t sleep well last night, the following news will not put a smile on your face: That getting a good night’s sleep is the secret to happiness.
So found scientists from Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research, who polled thousands of people to create a new Living Well Index.
Sleeping well – and being satisfied with our sex lives – ranked at the top of the index, while the study found people rated being able to improve their sleep as being as beneficial to their wellbeing as having four times as much disposable income.
For all those insomniacs, night owls and people whose kids/pets/fire alarms woke them in the middle of the night, we’re feeling your pain – and think this is what you might be going through…
1. There’s not enough caffeine in the world to keep you going
You up your intake from a double to a quadruple espresso, thinking, ‘Ha! Brain take this’. Except that makes you hyper for all of half an hour before you come crashing down worse than before – and so the cycle goes on all day.
2. You’re more likely to have silly arguments
We’re thinking ‘leaving the loo-seat up/toothpaste cap off’ severity. Not serious, just seriously annoying.
3. Clumsiness reaches a new height
You were hardly all twinkle-toes and Mary Poppins-like before, but now you’re spilling your porridge all down the clean shirt you’ve just ironed, and you can’t seem to navigate doorways anymore.
4. You get sugar cravings like you wouldn’t believe
See caffeine above – Krispy Kreme donuts have never looked so appealing and chocolate before 9am? Totally fine… Just watch out for the sugar crash.
5. You find things hysterically funny
That aren’t. But then your emotions are all over the place, so that’s normal.
6. You feel physically sick with tiredness
To the point of thinking you might have caught a tummy bug while you were tossing and turning, trying to sleep. But no, it’s just sheer exhaustion.
7. Even thinking about sleep makes you yawn
If reading that sentence made you yawn, you know exactly what we mean.
8. All the small things get lost more easily
Car keys, house keys, mobile phone, wallet. The only way you’ll get through the day with all these things on your person is if you physically Super Glue them into your pockets.
9. You can’t remember anything or anyone’s names
So you have conversations at work that go, ‘I’ll need to ask whatshername about the thingimajig’. As for to-do lists, you could tattoo them to the backs of your hands and forget they were there.
10. Your voice turns into a growl
From around 2pm, you could audition to be the guy who does the movie trailer voiceovers.
11. Multi-tasking is not going to happen
Your reaction times have slowed down so much, even the simplest tasks takes you forever. So don’t even think about trying to make tea and toast at the same time. Ain’t gonna happen.
12. You feel like the thickest person on the planet
That big meeting with the boss where you were going to show off your new business insights? That really important presentation? That job interview? Forget it.
13. Time stands still
It seems to be 10.10am for about four hours and by the time you get to clock off at 5, it feels like a whole week’s gone by.
14. You find yourself… just staring
Not at anything in particular. And then your brain slowly ratchets up as you come back again and try and remember what you were doing.
15. You can’t think about the day as a whole
Hour by hour – or even 10-minute chunks – is a much more manageable system.
16. You can’t make decisions
Choosing what to have for lunch involves a good 10 minutes of staring at the shelves in your local Pret, so don’t try and make any life-changing ones today, OK?
17. You master the art of looking like you’re working
Sitting at your desk, typing mindlessly with your headphones on will definitely fool your colleagues into thinking you’re really busy.
18. You cry at everything
That corny punchline at the end of the cheesy advert even sets you off.
19. It takes you ages to realise someone’s talking to you
Because you were just staring into space. Again.
20. Your bed has never looked more enticing…
Than when you have to get out of it – and you find yourself wondering how can fit a power nap into your day.
21. No amount of concealer will take those dark circles away
You might as well buy shares in your favourite make-up brand.
22. You just can’t function like a normal human
True story: You put a pint of milk on the roof of your car (instead of in your bag) and drive off, leaving it to tumble down the street behind you – and then your husband texts asking if you were the person who left a bottle of milk in the middle of the street…