It is beautiful here but I am lonely and sad

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

While seeking a better life, refugees can find life in direct provision centres hard, writes Noel Baker

WHAT does it feel like to live for half a decade in a direct provision centre? Or be alone in Ireland while your family lives thousands of miles away in an unstable and often violent country? What might the future hold in this country for refugees still in limbo over their status?

To mark World Refugee Day, the Irish Refugee Council captured the stories of various people at different stages of the asylum process. All names have been changed.

John’s story

John grew up in Somalia. He arrived alone at the age of 16 as a separated child. He was placed with a foster family but found it difficult to integrate. He was granted refugee status in 2010 and last year applied for permission for his mother and brother to join him. Family reunification can take two years or more.

I had a horrible life in Mogadishu. In Somalia, we don’t have a strong government to look after people. My family is from the Hamari group, which is small and often attacked by other groups. In 1995, my father was shopping with my sister and they were both shot and killed by the militia. My brother was also shot by the militia when he was 20.

After my father died, everything was even harder. We didn’t have money for food. Nobody would help us. My mother was cleaning floors and houses to try to help my sister and brother and I survive. In 2005, we had problems with al-Shabaab [a Somali militia group]. One day, members of al-Shabaab came to my house with masks on and took me away. They told me I had to join them or they would shoot me. I was 15 and very afraid. Soon after, I was injured. I escaped and went back home to my mother. She told me: “You can’t stay. If you stay, you’ll be killed.”

My aunt in Canada sent money to help me and my brother escape. He went to South Africa and I travelled to Ethiopia. Some friends of my family there introduced me to someone they said would help to get me to safety. I was given a passport and left. I arrived in Dublin late at night. I didn’t know what to do. I saw a man who I thought might be Ethiopian so I asked him for help. It turned out that he was Somali. He took me to the Garda station. I was 16 and a half.

First I lived in a hostel and then with a foster family. It was difficult because I was so worried about my own family. I couldn’t sleep. I thought maybe my family was dead.

Finally, with help from an international Somali radio station, I was able to get in touch with them. They found my mother, brother, and sister. Now, at last, I can contact them. I call my family every two days.

I am living happy now, but sometimes I have sleep problems. I am still worried about my family. I am going to see my mum this June. I will meet her in Ethiopia. I have been saving half my money to pay for my ticket and hers to go there from Mogadishu.

My favourite things about Ireland are the food, the people, and the love of sports. People are lovely. People in Ireland have very good lives. They are lucky. My teachers are lovely, I have lots of friends. My school is the best.

My dream for the future is to work in business or engineering. I only have one more year in school then I have to go to college. I learned to read and write after coming to Ireland because I couldn’t go to school in Somalia.

Now I am waiting for the answer for family reunification. I started the application in 2011 and they tell me it will take two years. My hope and my dream is that we will be together: Me, my brother, and my mum.

Peter’s story

Peter and his family have been in Ireland for nine years. Since then, they have lived in direct provision.

My family and I have been living in direct provision accommodation since we first got to Ireland. I have three daughters and one son. My oldest daughter, who is 21, was 12 when she arrived in Ireland. She has completed school here and is now looking for a way to go to college to study nursing. My second eldest daughter who is 19, was 10 when she arrived here. She is now doing her Leaving Certificate examination and is hoping to study law. My youngest daughter, 15, arrived in Ireland when she was six years old. She is sitting her Junior Cert examination. My son was born in Ireland in 2006; he’s five and is in senior infants.

It worries me to watch my children growing up so fast, and as well as that, the stress they have had to grow up in breaks my heart. My son doesn’t understand why we have to live in the hostel and he’s always saying he wants to go to his own big house like all his friends. Having a deportation order as well is very hard because my daughters miss out on a lot of school work whenever we go to sign on in Dublin. It isn’t fair to do this to children, but I suppose my two eldest daughters are no longer children as their childhoods have been taken away from them.

Most of the rooms are damp and they are not insulated well. It usually gets really cold at night, especially in the winter, and when we ask the manager to turn on the heating, they tell us that they are on or they are not working. If you buy heaters yourself, they take them from you. It feels like we are being treated like prisoners.

The food is another big problem we have. It’s always the same and they seem to never make enough food for everyone. If you are late for dinner they tell you all of it is finished.

Everyone lives in fear when they are in direct provision accommodation, especially if they have a deportation order, because you never know when they will come for you and take you away without any of your belongings. This is stressful for everyone and could drive you insane.

Cora’s story

Cora lived in direct provision but has been granted legal status to remain in Ireland. Here she outlines some of the challenges she has faced.

I left my country many years ago because I had a political problem in my country and I can’t go back. I can’t go back home because when I came here I came from another country and I wanted to give myself a chance for a better life.

[In direct provision] it is so hard for me because I don’t speak very good English and there are people from all sorts of countries. I tried to integrate into the community. I felt very bad, because I didn’t have any friends there and I was sick too. I had to share the bathroom for women.

I’m so far from home but that was my choice. I have no friends because we were sent to Galway. It is a beautiful city but I felt lonely and sad. I don’t go to the shops because I don’t have any money. The first day I did talk and I was in the room. The manager told me to go into the communal area. I can’t call my family. Any friends I have help me. That experience is the most difficult for me.

The minister gave me one month when I got my status to look for a place where I wanted to live. I wanted to live in Dublin and I went to social welfare and they help me to look for accommodation. I tried to study English and I try to find a job, but I can’t. After one year I went to school, a few months ago, but it’s so hard because I am lonely and I still do not have any joy in looking for a job. You feel it more when you live alone and you’re not feeling very well and you miss your family. You have a new life and everything else is OK but you’re still lonely because it’s difficult when your family is grown up. You can’t decide how to do it.

[My family] live in a different place and I don’t have the money to talk to each other but I try communications with Skype or email. I can’t help how I feel about my family because I miss them. All people need some help.

[As for my home country] I miss the aroma of coffee in the barista each morning. I miss the choir singing each morning to wake me up but I especially miss my children. I miss them very much.

I am very happy here. This country opened their arms to me. I give thanks to you for giving me another life that is better than before and Irish people are very kind to me.

Thank you for giving me a new life in this country.

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